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[OnlyJesusSaves]

I would like to know your thoughts on what is modesty and what is not.  If any men are out there I would like your thoughts too.  What do you think of pants and shorts or short shirts to knee, can they be modest?  I have been stressing some over what is modest and not.  I don't want to make is hard for my brothers and sisters in Christ, and lost souls, by how I am dressed.  I want to look nice but not revealing.  Also if you know anywhere to buy modest cloths that would be great.  Thanks

[lovingmomof2]

Modesty, that is a big issue for some people.  My husband and I have had many discussions on the subject.  Really it isn't as stressful as people make it.  We do not say that pants are wrong to wear, because the definition of pants is having to legs( that would include cullots, tights, etc.)  If you can find a pair of modest pants then fine wear them if you like or if you husband likes you to.  Shorts we agree are wrong because they show the thigh.  Short skirts to the knee may be modest while standing, but I usually find that when sitting down you have a problem with keeping the skirt down.  Also, people sitting across the room from you could easilly see up your skirt.  I hope this is of help to you.

[KatieMac]

There is already quite a long thread about this very subject! Check here:

http://welltellme.com/discuss/index.php/topic,94.0.html

Also, there has been a somewhat unsuccessful bid to move all non-health tops to this website:

http://www.7xsunday.net/forum/

I think that due to the format once a person has read a post it is harder to find...if that gets changed there might be more traffic.

[Helen]

One really easy test if you dont know what is modest or not, buy yourself a good Large full length mirror, I believe every christian woman should have one, now say you have a knee length skirt, put it on and stand in front of your mirror, now bend over, sit down in front cross your legs, with your tshirts or shirts bend over and see if you can see down the front, better yet get your husband to watch and ask him what he sees. sometimes clothes that may not be modest in some situations are more modest in others. Just a thought,
  Yesterday at Dairy Queen this cute little doll of a girl came in she had shorts on and a Tshirt that had the sleeves ripped out and then the side seam was ripped all the way to about an inch to the hem which was hip length, I could not stop looking at her, you could easily see her boobs from the side almost to her nipple, my poor husband was doing his darndest not to look.  bless his heart, it is not RIGHT for women to "hurt" men like that.  I dont think women are solely responsible for a mans purity , not by far, but we sure can help them along!!!

[momof4boys]

I have been really dealing with this issue myself.  My dh likes for me to wear shorts but I don't wear them out in public.  I just bought a skort on clearance from Academy that I really liked but it needs to be longer.  I would dress in much longer dresses but my hubby isn't in agreement with me.  I spent a little more and bought me a skort from a company www.dressingforhisglory.com it is knee length so I am much more comfortable in it.  I am looking for a pattern like that.  Do any of you know of one?  I love to wear skirts more than pants but it is so hot and don't know what to wear underneath for the heat.   I would love to read more of your ideas.

Blessings!!  Deanna

[catholicmom]

I was curious about what is appropriate to wear also.  I found this at sexrespect.com

"Pure Style" Fashion Show
Clothing Guidelines

REMEMBER: This is NOT just a Fashion Show, and we are not just simply fashion models, we are ROLE MODELS!


-our goal is to show the public that it is possible to be stylish, cute, and MODEST!
-all styles should flatter your figure, but not draw extreme attention to any certain area

Shirts:
-the neck line should be no lower than 4 fingers below collar bone
- no very thin or sheer material
-may not be tight in the bust area
- should not allow the shape of bra to be seen in the back (if you can it’s too tight)
-can not be spandex or very tight shirts
- the backs should be modest" i.e.: no strappy backs, halter or missing backs!

Pants:
-should not be too tight" especially in the seat or the thigh area
-should fit well, but not be skin-tight" one should be able to pull them away from the leg
-shorts should be modest- no very short and/or tight shorts; if you put your arms down straight at the side" and the bottom of the shorts is higher than your longest finger, then the shorts are too short.
(Remember" we will be on an elevated runway" and everything will look a bit shorter to the audience. )

Skirts and Dresses:
-can not be very tight fitting (follow shirt guidelines)
-should not have too thin of material and if needed a slip should be worn.
-can be no shorter that 4 fingers above the top of the kneecap
-Dresses only:
-must have a modest neck line (no lower than 4 fingers below collar bone )
-no thin straps (such as spaghetti straps)
if necessary a dress with straps two fingers wide may be worn, if the whole dress is very modest and no bra straps can be showing, but must be worn!

[OnlyJesusSaves]

Thank you all for your infomation on modesty dressing.  I do feel that I have some modesty cloths and some unmodest.  So I will be going through my cloths.  Also do any of you know where I can get good slips.  I bought some at Wal-mart and they have a slit in them that is pretty high I think and also doesn't help to cover self.  Also I would like to hear your thoughts on make up and modesty.  I like to whear make up I do it pretty natural.  My husband does not care either way.  Thanks NV

[OnlyJesusSaves]

I was wondering what your thoughts on capri pants are for looking modest.  Should they be loose when you bend over or sit down?  I have some I bought that I feel are modest while standing (long and loose), but not sure when I bend over or sit (tighter around buttom and thighs).  Also if they have a flower print close to bottom do you think that would drawl attention there.    Should I return these and find ones that are loose for all positions, like culottes or skorts?  Please answer NV Thanks

[OnlyJesusSaves]

The flower print in underneath the bottom on one side of the back leg.  I just wasn't sure it that would lead eyes up a little more.  What about the bending over and sitting being tight.  Should they be loose when sitting and bendings too?  NV

[healthyinOhio]

OJS,

You are too funny!  How long have you been saved for?  You have such a concerned heart about it all!!  I know that you are serious about this, but it is just making me laugh!  You are so cute!!  There is a thread on here that talks about a worship test?  Maybe someone knows where it is at.  It tells you all the exercises to do in an outfit in front of a mirror and how to tell what is safe and what is not. 
I, personally, where dresses almost all the time.  I can't say that I am happy about it, but it is what my hubby wants.  So in a dress, nothing really shows at all!  But I lounge around the house or exercise  in shorts or pants sometimes.

[Honey Bee]

Momof4boys wanted a skort pattern.  I found an out of print McCall's skort pattern:

http://www.mccallpattern.com/item/M4388.htm

It looks great because it has three lengths and a skirt "behind".  I haven't made it, momof4boys, but I will try to get the pattern and sew it.

--Honey Bee

[ForeverGirl]

The flower print in underneath the bottom on one side of the back leg.  I just wasn't sure it that would lead eyes up a little more.  What about the bending over and sitting being tight.  Should they be loose when sitting and bendings too?  NV

Hi, OnlyJesusSaves  (I just loved typing out that username  )

Certainly sounds modest enough. My personal rule is just to ask my husband what he thinks. I bend over, turn around, jump up and down and thoroughly entertain him. He tends to be more "liberal" than me and usually says "looks fine to me..." Modesty is a funny thing that seems to be so heart-related...

I used to live among a tribal group where going topless was traditional. The people viewed (haha) boobs as convenient baby bottles, and support was unheard of. I had a friend that could nurse one baby in front and one on her back by flipping a breast over her shoulder. It sounds horrendous and it definitely wasn't sexy!

My brother visited me there for a couple months and said one day,
"Suddenly I understand the meaning of "support."  And then, "You know, there is nothing sexually stimulating about these women going topless - they're all focused on doing their work, taking care of their family, and obeying their husbands... So even though they're topless, they seem "off-limits" or "unavailable."

Now - I am definitely not advocating going topless... however, that statement has always stuck in my mind "They're all focused on doing their work, taking care of their fammily, and obeying their husbands..."  That is the definition of heart-modesty. Clothing comes secondary to the heart, and you seem to have the right heart.

The people in Papua New Guinea began to mature in their faith, and only the old wrinkled boobs were commonly seen around the village in time. The modesty didn't "increase" it just matured with understanding. The heart to do right was already present.

Just wanted to put things in perspective...

Rebekah

[momof4boys]

Honey Bee,
Thanks so much this looks like a neat pattern.  I am going to see if I can do it.  I am not the greatest seamstress.....especially zippers but I will give it go.

Blessings,
Deanna

[SC]

I bend over, turn around, jump up and down and thoroughly entertain him. He tends to be more "liberal" than me and usually says "looks fine to me..." Modesty is a funny thing that seems to be so heart-related...
I used to live among a tribal group where going topless was traditional. . . . Now - I am definitely not advocating going topless...

ROTFL

[Julie G]

I used to live among a tribal group where going topless was traditional. The people viewed (haha) boobs as convenient baby bottles, and support was unheard of. I had a friend that could nurse one baby in front and one on her back by flipping a breast over her shoulder. It sounds horrendous and it definitely wasn't sexy!

I read this to my husband....he nearly had a heart attack   Great response BeeyoutifulGirl!  Thank you.

[healthyinOhio]

That was too funny, Bee.  Those are what my husband calls "working" breasts.  I do see your point.  Thanks for sharing and making me dread the gravity of old age.

[mamamurphy]

I found a very encouraging web site for modest dress..here on this web site.  Try TZNIUS.com.  It has beautiful full length skirts, dresses, shirts and head coverings.

[Caroline]

I have made the McCalls skirt/ skort pattern, and for me it was very tight and fitted.  Just to let anyone know who wanted to make it, and wouldn't like that.

[kayinpa]

Yep, love their skirts!

[OnlyJesusSaves]

Thanks for the input BeeyoutifulGirl.  I will entertain my husband with my new capri pants to see what he thinks.  And I agree that it is a heart issue too.  I'm glad we get support here, I can't imagine flipping one over to feed a baby.  Thanks again NV

[ForeverGirl]

Thanks for sharing and making me dread the gravity of old age.

It's gravity that gets us!


Rebekah

[jaemom]

SNIP

I had a friend that could nurse one baby in front and one on her back by flipping a breast over her shoulder.
Rebekah

That just sounds painful!!  LOL

[lovinmomma]

I just wanted to share about my favorite modest skirt.  It's the cotton twill wrap skirt sold at http://www.Tznius.com. This is a Jewish modest clothing website, but I love the things there even though I'm a Christian, not Jewish.  I have 3 of the cotton twill wrap skirts in various colors and wear one about everyday.  They are long and flow really well.  They make it easy for me to get up and down off the floor with my 3 girls.  I really have found I like skirts and shirts as opposed to dresses because it's so much easier to nurse, I find.  Also, the wrap skirt is wonderful because it fits my body whatever state I'm in: early pregnancy, post-partum, or just not pregnant at all.  Check them out!  They're really fantastic.  They are a bit pricey - $39.95, but I wear them so much I really feel I get my money's worth.  Also, shipping is a flat rate of $1.95 no matter how many things you buy from this site.  Pretty cool! 

[carolinachic]

[Certainly sounds modest enough. My personal rule is just to ask my husband what he thinks. I bend over, turn around, jump up and down and thoroughly entertain him. He tends to be more "liberal" than me and usually says "looks fine to me..." Modesty is a funny thing that seems to be so heart-related...

I used to live among a tribal group where going topless was traditional. The people viewed (haha) boobs as convenient baby bottles, and support was unheard of. I had a friend that could nurse one baby in front and one on her back by flipping a breast over her shoulder. It sounds horrendous and it definitely wasn't sexy!

My brother visited me there for a couple months and said one day,
"Suddenly I understand the meaning of "support."  And then, "You know, there is nothing sexually stimulating about these women going topless - they're all focused on doing their work, taking care of their family, and obeying their husbands... So even though they're topless, they seem "off-limits" or "unavailable."

Now - I am definitely not advocating going topless... however, that statement has always stuck in my mind "They're all focused on doing their work, taking care of their fammily, and obeying their husbands..."  That is the definition of heart-modesty. Clothing comes secondary to the heart, and you seem to have the right heart.

The people in Papua New Guinea began to mature in their faith, and only the old wrinkled boobs were commonly seen around the village in time. The modesty didn't "increase" it just matured with understanding. The heart to do right was already present.

Just wanted to put things in perspective...

Rebekah

Hi Rebekah,  Thanks for making the heart issue of modesty clear for me. I recently have been struggling with this. Long story, but I was visiting my parents who live a few hours from me and ended up in a discussion of how they disapprove of how I dress and my kids. I did wear a pair of gouchos and that's the only thing I could think of. My mom wears alot of jumpers and gathered from their conversations that it's wrong to show ANY shape. Confusing for me when the Lord did make boobs and butts to protude!!! So I've been worrying about dressing attractively and well as my very young daughters and yet be modest. After talking with my husband, who assures me if I'm dressed appropriately or not, I have to agree that it can be overwhelming and quite confusing listening to so many opinions on modesty. Thank the Lord we can just submit to our husbands and let him be the judge of our apparel. I was raised an a good strong Christian homes so it broke my heart some to hear how my parents thought of what I looked like. Thanks for the encouragement. And from one writer(children's author) to another, I am blessed everytime I read your articles in NGJ! Thanks for your testimony!

[barrybunch]

Here are some websites that sell nice, modest skirts and dresses:

http://www.hannahlise.com/womens-skirts.aspx  (nice,longer skirts)

http://www.modestapparelusa.com/modest_dresses.html     (dresses,coullotes,nursing dress!)

http://www.littletouchofelegance.com/    (ladies & girls. My fave. maternity skirt!)


Hope That Helps!! 

[Christal]

What types of footware do you wear with your skirts?  I like wearing sandals in the summer but hate pantyhose and haven't found winter shoes that I can wear without them because my feet sweat bad.  I think stockings would be too warm for me, as I get hot easily even in the dead of winter.  Pantyhose are just a waste of money for me because I tear holes in them right away.  Any suggestions for alternatives?  I usually wear long plain dresses or skirts.

[Pennie]

what about those no show socks?  I got a pair and I really like them!  My skirts are mostly all long too and I do wear panyhose but when I dont' feel like it these socks are great.  I only wear them with my loafer shoes and the shoes are brown and so are the socks and you can barely see the socks but since they are the same color it doesn't matter.  I got them at payless. 

[carolinachic]

I wear boots!!! loves them! They look great with any length skirt...so warm in the winter and best of all you don't have to wear panty-hose!!!

[heatheronthehill]

What types of footware do you wear with your skirts?  I like wearing sandals in the summer but hate pantyhose and haven't found winter shoes that I can wear without them because my feet sweat bad.  I think stockings would be too warm for me, as I get hot easily even in the dead of winter.  Pantyhose are just a waste of money for me because I tear holes in them right away.  Any suggestions for alternatives?  I usually wear long plain dresses or skirts.

[/color]

I too wear boots!  I love it because I shave about once a week (if that truthfully) in the winter.  The boots cover up my lack of shaving!    I have a nice comfy and functional pair in brown and black.  I also have a nice pair of clogs that I often wear with tights or socks.  I really like knee socks too!  They would be a little cooler. 

 

[ShabbyChic]

Honestly, I went to public high school with some girls who wore floor length skirts every day and their tops and skirts were skin tight.  There was nothing left to the imagination.  I, on the other hand, tended to lean more toward grunge clothing (okay, I was totally into grunge.  It was the 90's!) and no one could see my silhouette.  I thought that the tightness of clothing (or how low the necklines are, or if the shirt doesn't meet the skirt, and you can see UNDERWEAR... or *gulp* worse... ) mattered a lot more than skirt or pants. 

Just my $.02.

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