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[Homeschool_Newbie]

Maybe it's time to ask for prayer about this..........

It has become very clear to me that I am being tested. Our family is expecting our 4th sweet baby boy almost any day now. Talk about blessed. I could go on and on....Anyhow, I never share the baby's gender with strangers and aquaintances, unless they ask, and I often don't even volunteer that we're expecting our 4th child.  ( Large families stand out here- often in a bad way) Obviously, I'm huge right now, and people are asking baby's gender. 70% of the time I get a disappointed or downright RUDE reaction. It does not matter if the person is Christian or not. I answer people very graciously, but it makes me weary. I am tired of having to defend the unborn, because of gender. I know that God wants me to get used to " standing out". Our family stands out in more ways than one, and God has big plans for us both collectively and individually. That is the bottom line. God has plans for us, and this is just another test along the way that will prepare me and my family for all that God has for us.  Learning to give people gracious replies about all the reasons why our family stands out is just part of the journey I am on........Right now I have a few small concerns regarding the baby's birth, and I'm trying to focus on getting prepared. It just feels so silly that I am having to defend my baby's gender in the midst of all of this.......but it's part of the journey towards me becoming stronger in my walk with God.........

BTW: I want to apologize for the sometimes inapproapriateness of my ticker. I tried deleting it, but to no avail..... will try later.

I won't vent any more...........but a small prayer for me would be greatly appreciated......

- One very blessed mom

[ladyhen]

Over the years I have learned many things about being gracious to people.  I am not saying that I always am gracious; I fail miserably quite often.   I have, however, learned that I fail less often if I follow a few simple rules for myself. 
   1)   Give as little information as possible
   2)   Smile as though whatever is being said to you is nice or helpful
   3)   Don't trust my 'feelings' about what is said to me
   4)   Remember that I am beloved of my Man and my God
   5)   Study Scripture related to the topic to see what God says
   6)    Test, in my imagination, if what is said will matter in a week, or a month, or even a day

I know it's hard to bear the reproach and disapproval.    Stay focused on your husband and children.  The testing will pass.

[MommaK]

LOL!
What in the world are you talking about? People are upset about the baby's gender? I don't get it!

[denim&lace]

Strangers Question: "So, do you know what  you're having?"
My Answer: (insert big cheesey grin) A Baby!!! 

I only had a few people ask further...

Q: " No I meant, Are you having a girl or a boy?" 
A: "Yes... I will be having a girl or a boy.  (continued cheesey grin)

It worked for me.  We actually didn't have an ultrasound so I didn't have the information to give anyway... I think I only had one person push further still and I simply told them that we didn't have an ultrasound so we didn't know for sure.  But if I were adamant about not giving the information and I did know... I believe I would just smile and tell the person asking that we weren't telling. 

Gracious does not have to be patronizing, just smile and tell the truth. 

 

[burlsgirl]

Homeschool_Newbie,

Just wanted to say that your three boys are almost the exact same age as my three girls, except that my oldest turned 8 last week...

Anyway, I'm so sorry you're having to hear all the unsolicited opinions. Our fourth was a boy, and when I was pregnant with him, and even now (just yesterday as a matter of fact), all I ever hear is "Oh, you finally got a boy. You can stop now"! They think I should be thrilled, when in fact, the thought of having no more children is grievous to me. The truth is, I probably am done, b/c dh says so. I'm living with his decision, but the last thing I need is to have it thrown up in my face by a total stranger! 

This is the third happening just this week that is teaching/reminding me to keep my mouth shut. We just never know how our idle words affect others.

Hang in there, Mama! You're almost there!

Blessings,
Emily

[Homeschool_Newbie]

Ladyhen wrote:

Over the years I have learned many things about being gracious to people.  I am not saying that I always am gracious; I fail miserably quite often.   I have, however, learned that I fail less often if I follow a few simple rules for myself.  
   1)   Give as little information as possible
   2)   Smile as though whatever is being said to you is nice or helpful
   3)   Don't trust my 'feelings' about what is said to me
   4)   Remember that I am beloved of my Man and my God
   5)   Study Scripture related to the topic to see what God says
   6)    Test, in my imagination, if what is said will matter in a week, or a month, or even a day

I know it's hard to bear the reproach and disapproval.    Stay focused on your husband and children.  The testing will pass

This is such fabulous advice, and part of it is what the Lord has been laying on my heart for some time now.

Homeschool_Newbie,

Just wanted to say that your three boys are almost the exact same age as my three girls, except that my oldest turned 8 last week...

Anyway, I'm so sorry you're having to hear all the unsolicited opinions. Our fourth was a boy, and when I was pregnant with him, and even now (just yesterday as a matter of fact), all I ever hear is "Oh, you finally got a boy. You can stop now"! They think I should be thrilled, when in fact, the thought of having no more children is grievous to me. The truth is, I probably am done, b/c dh says so. I'm living with his decision, but the last thing I need is to have it thrown up in my face by a total stranger

Burlsgirl- UGH! I am sorry that you are getting this type of unsolicited opinon, and it makes it harder if you have that desire in your heart........ I think that people have something to say no matter what the make up is of the family Just the way it is.......that's why I'm working so hard on my reaction to it and praying about it. As a side note, I honestly believe that the legalization of abortion is what started all the negative " comments" about children in general. I think it's affected both Christians and not Christians alike, since we now view children as products of our own making, rather than miracles from God.

Today I spent about 15 minutes in Kmart with my boys, and I had 2 people ask me what the baby is. I barely made it through the door when an employee asked me as I was trying to whiz by. I was'nt as gracious as I'd like to be, I think I gave her a blank stare at first because I was bracing myself for the " Oh NO!" She must have sensed it, because she said: " Is it a boy?" I said " Yes, we are very excited." She was then very positive........
Still, I wish I would have done better with my initial response. The next person who asked is an aquaintance who said the typical: " Oh no!" to which I replied: " We are very excited."  Hopefully the comments will end when the baby is born, but honestly I don't expect it to.......I've gotten at least a few rude or disappointed comments ever since I was expecting my 2nd boy,  and they've gotten progressively worse with each child we've added.  I suppose it's par for the course- large families or any gender mixture can't go out in public without a comment or two. At least I don't wear a T-shirt that says: " I love homeschooling" LOL! Then I would REALLY get the comments!!! Ha!

Thank you, ladies for the godly advice........I realize that not everyone struggles with the " comments" of others, and I truly believe this is just a stepping stone towards embracing all the good things that God has for me.

[Pennie]

I personally would say, are you kidding me?  I LOVE boys and we don't have to buy ANYTHING for him.  Think of all the money we are saving.  Course now that I have three LOVELY daughters I realize even more how easy boys are.      Hang in there.    I actually had someone once ask me what number(I only had my oldest boy with me)and I said number 5 she ACTUALLY said why?  I was so taken aback I had no good "comeback" no one had ever said that b/f so I said why  not?   

[CountyCork]

An excellent question to ask back, to just about any silly question you might be asked is

"Why do you want to know?"

If you sound sincere, it will almost always stop them in their tracks.  Smile.  That's about it!

I had 3 boys first.  When I was preg with my 4th, and we just knew it was a girl, and then after she was born, it was "oh, now you've got your girl, you can be done."

The digusting comments I always hated were, when we had two or three boys - "So are you going to try for a girl?"

TRY!  That means sex.  Yuck, from strangers, if you think about it!

We've gone on to have a few more and have 3 boys, 2 girls, and a baby boy.  And believe me, we still get questions and comments.

If you appear happy (and really are) and your kids look happy and secure, it goes a long way toward a positive testimony for having a large family.  People expect us to be tired, grouchy, harried.  They expect our children to be out of control, begging for attention, and basically neglected.  Isn't that sad?

Hold your head high, mama!  Smile, rub your belly, make sure people see you enjoying your children.  And whisper "get behind me Satan" when no one can hear you!   

[floydian]

Strangers Question: "So, do you know what  you're having?"
My Answer: (insert big cheesey grin) A Baby!!! 

I only had a few people ask further...

Q: " No I meant, Are you having a girl or a boy?" 
A: "Yes... I will be having a girl or a boy.  (continued cheesey grin)

We don't find out either.  This has always been my response. 

Then they'll usually say something like, "Aren't you going to find out?"  To which I reply, "Of course, I'm going to find out in about_______  months/weeks/days (however long I have left.)  Some get it; some don't.

Probably noone has really noticed, but I love to laugh.  I also enjoy making others laugh.  If I can turn a negative situation into a humorous one, I will.  So I work to get a laugh out of the person asking the question whether their intentions were meant positively or negatively.

[Pennie]

I used to be petite b/f I started having kids.  Now I'm just short.  I ALWAYS got huge comments.  And.......it was true. I was huge every time.  I let it bother me sometimes but it would have been a miserable 42 weeks so I tried not to.  I actually was walking down the hall to the ICU to see my 9 pound girl.......I was hooked up to an IV and pushing it along(I had been induced)APPARENTLY I still looked VERY preggo b/c a lady said oh, you're just about to have one aren't you?  I just smiled.  Didn't want to make her feel bad. 

[ladyhen]

If you appear happy (and really are) and your kids look happy and secure, it goes a long way toward a positive testimony for having a large family.  People expect us to be tired, grouchy, harried.  They expect our children to be out of control, begging for attention, and basically neglected.  Isn't that sad?

Hold your head high, mama!  Smile, rub your belly, make sure people see you enjoying your children.  And whisper "get behind me Satan" when no one can hear you!   

Oh, CC, your comment here reminds me of a woman we once knew who wheedled and begged her dh to let her have another baby after the birth of our 3rd.  They had 2 boys and she desperately wanted a girl.   When the baby was born -- a boy -- she cried and mourned for months.        We felt so sorry for her dh and her sons.  What a poor, sorry testimony that was from her. 

Homeschool newbie,  I hope you are feeling better.  Focusing on practiced answers to the types of comments that you commonly get will really give you more confidence and composure.  People are so nosy and bold in their comments, I agree, but often they don't intend any harm.   You are living 'outside of the norm' so you are very noticable.  Keep smiling, practice cute and funny comebacks, let the remarks roll off you, smile and walk away, love your man and your boys.   Praying that your birth is great.  You are wonderful!   

[burlsgirl]

I read this somewhere, on here, I think:

Get a T-Shirt that says:

Yes, They are All Mine
or
Yes, We Know What Causes It
or
Yes, My Hands are Full...And So is My Heart
or
No, I'm not "Done"
or
any combination of the above...

I've seriously considered trying it. When I was pg w/ my 4th, and I was SO tempted to get a (big) t-shirt that said, "YES, I'm STILL pregnant! _{and if you ask me again, for real, I'm smacking you"}  Or, "I KNOW I look miserable...so do you!"  Didn't think it would give the testimony I was going for   , so I didn't get it. Still, though, I'd really like the "yes, they're all mine, and yes, we know what causes it" one. 

[Siege]

My husband never let me find out what we were having. So...actually, no one ever asked, "What are you having?" they usually asked, "Did you find out what you were having?" and I usually said, "No, it is going to be a surprise!" so excited like. I actually really wanted to find out but....

Also, sometimes people say, "Boy, you have your hands full!" I notice that if I smile and nod and say, "It is such fun, isn't it?" the people usually go into how they had 3 boys, or 4 or more, or something like that. Sometimes I think such comments are a way for some older people to strike up a conversation with someone with well behaved chiildren. The people who make the comments ALWYAS tell me how well behaved my boys are (good thing they did not see them at home the day before fighting and disobeying!!  ). Sometimes when people make comments they just want to converse about kids (especially older people).

Another thing when people say, "So, are you going to try for a girl?" or "Do you hope you have a girl one day?" I almost always answer back, "Oh yes, because I want at LEAST 6 kids." with a cheesy grin on my face. Sometimes people laugh and then realize I am serious. Sometimes they look at me like I am crazy (little do they know I am!  ). Sometimes they blurt out, "Why?!?!" (I forgive them...how many times have I blurted out stupid things?) I usually just say, "Oh, I love my kids and have such fun with them that I want more!"

Anyway, take comments with a grain of salt, and also remember that most people just are using that as an excuse to talk to you. If you have your kids with you and they are well behaved they just want to see what is so different about you and want to talk to you.

CJ

[Homeschool_Newbie]

Country cork wrote:

If you appear happy (and really are) and your kids look happy and secure, it goes a long way toward a positive testimony for having a large family.  People expect us to be tired, grouchy, harried.  They expect our children to be out of control, begging for attention, and basically neglected.  Isn't that sad?

True....... true! My boys are so good when we are out  I suppose it really is a testimony........I'm so proud when my first born takes on a positive roll of leadership, and helps me out........Firstborns really crack me up........( Can you tell I"m not a  firstborn? LOL)

read this somewhere, on here, I think:

Get a T-Shirt that says:

Yes, They are All Mine
or
Yes, We Know What Causes It
or
Yes, My Hands are Full...And So is My Heart
or
No, I'm not "Done"
or
any combination of the above...

Burlsgirl I'd like the " My hands are full, and so is my heart" shirt. Very sweet.

Focusing on practiced answers to the types of comments that you commonly get will really give you more confidence and composure.

Ladyhen, good advice

[AslansLucy]

One thing that you might think about is how these negative comments by strangers may be affected your boys, especially the older two. They are old enough to realize that some people may not think they are wanted. You might try to reaffirm how pleased you are to have boys when people comment. When strangers act disappointed for you, you could respond, "Really? These three are so wonderful. I just can't wait to have another one!" or maybe, "I'm sure a girl would be nice but I have been so pleased to have boys. They are so much fun!" Comments like these can help to counteract the hurtful comments of others. Little children have big ears and they catch so much more then we would like them too!

I have two girls and one little boy. I got very tired of people telling me how excited I should be to have a boy finally. As if I didn't want to have two daughters! I am so glad that God determines the gender of our children. He is so much wiser then I am and he gives us according to His own pleasure. Congratulations of your fourth boy! What an incredible blessing!!!

[lovetoreadmom]

Also, sometimes people say, "Boy, you have your hands full!" I notice that if I smile and nod and say, "It is such fun, isn't it?" the people usually go into how they had 3 boys, or 4 or more, or something like that. Sometimes I think such comments are a way for some older people to strike up a conversation with someone with well behaved chiildren. The people who make the comments ALWYAS tell me how well behaved my boys are (good thing they did not see them at home the day before fighting and disobeying!!  ). Sometimes when people make comments they just want to converse about kids (especially older people).

I get that comment a lot, too, CJ, and I just smile, and say, "Yes, but it's okay.  They don't stay little for long."     I get a lot of comments from older people, also, and I enjoy so much talking to them.  They always have the most interesting stories or comments to share, and I think what a wealth of wisdom/knowledge from which to glean.     I can't wait to see what they'll say when I have my third.  You'd think it was some sort of disease or something.   

[Homeschool_Newbie]

One thing that you might think about is how these negative comments by strangers may be affected your boys, especially the older two

Aslan's Lucy- This is such an excellent point I have thought of this some.......I will definately consider how my responses should line up with letting them know that they are wanted. My oldest son was pretty adamant on us having a girl, and I was very upfront with him that it will be exciting to have a boy.....So hopefully he gets it I've made a big deal about how the baby is going to love him, and he will enjoy holding him. As long as abortion is legal, and attitudes about children are affected by it, I'd really like my children to learn the value of life from a young age.........

BTW: Can I ask about your avatar? You must be a big fan of Narnia!!! What do you think about the books and the movie, at what age do you think we could start those? I have been a little anxious

"Yes, but it's okay.  They don't stay little for long."  

 
Love to read mom- this is GREAT!!! Love this one!

 I get a lot of comments from older people, also, and I enjoy so much talking to them.  They always have the most interesting stories or comments to share, and I think what a wealth of wisdom/knowledge from which to glean.

  It's SO true.......I find that people either get better with age, or worse......and Debi's CTBHHM has confirmed for me that women, especially have a choice to become better with age, or worse. A blessing or a curse, LOL! I love the older people who are simply a blessing, because they do have a lot of wisdom. I love that gleam in their eye, and the way they don't sweat the small stuff.

 I can't wait to see what they'll say when I have my third.  You'd think it was some sort of disease or something.    

LOL! LOL! I hear you sister, I hear you!

[lovetoreadmom]

It's SO true.......I find that people either get better with age, or worse......and Debi's CTBHHM has confirmed for me that women, especially have a choice to become better with age, or worse. A blessing or a curse, LOL! I love the older people who are simply a blessing, because they do have a lot of wisdom. I love that gleam in their eye, and the way they don't sweat the small stuff.

I know.  Most of the time I get the "sweet, old ladies"    who say "Hi!" first to my children and then comment on how they are well-behaved.  Like CJ, at least they didn't see them disobey at home the day before.      Then they go into a story about one of their children or grandchildren, and I just love to listen to them.  Sometimes, and this happened recently, one lady who had three children close together, was telling about them as teens.  You would have thought she absolutely *hated* her children.  I had two thoughts:  (1) I wanted to say,  "Shame on you for not tying strings of fellowship."  and (2) I wanted to run so my children wouldn't hear her talking.  She was so negative.   

 I can't wait to see what they'll say when I have my third.  You'd think it was some sort of disease or something.    

LOL! LOL! I hear you sister, I hear you!

I wish I could see people w/ my SIL.  She's one of the GREAT ones I have, and she will have her 13th in September.  Can you imagine the t-shirts we could come up w/ for her??  Wouldn't it be fun?  Here's one:  Cheaper by the baker's dozen  LOL!! 

[BigMeanMamma]

Yes, We Know What Causes It

We've had people ask this too. Now my husbands says, "Yes, do you need some pointers?"

or I get the I'm glad its not me line from ladies. How sad. I heard another Mom say, "so are the children"
It can be challenging to be smart with people but do it cheerfully so you're just teasing them. We just had our 5th baby and I can't imagine why someone wouldn't want more after seeing him! Sure makes me want more.

[Homeschool_Newbie]

Big mean mama wrote:

We just had our 5th baby and I can't imagine why someone wouldn't want more after seeing him! Sure makes me want more.

  I am sooooo with you on this one!

The larger family thing is so new to me. I love it, and I would not trade it for the world!

[Mom2four]

So sorry you get these comments.  It can be so hurtful, especially when all your children are young - soon they will be teenagers like mine, and you would give anything for more babies and more comments!      Just let people make them and smile!  We should feel sorry for the joy they are missing out on by being so negative.  As for the gender thing, I think it is just so natural in our anti-children culture for people to assume that if you have more than two kids it is because the first two are the same sex and you are "trying" for the other.  I had boy/girl twins first, at 20 years old - and I can't tell you how many times I heard, "Oh, aren't you lucky, now you don't have to do it again!"   I was so sad!  I knew first of all, that "luck" had nothing to do with it and secondly, that I wanted many more kids!  We have only had two more, and now our "baby" is six.  I feel very blessed to have them and we pray God will give us more someday.  The comments roll off easier the older you get (or wiser) - now, I am one that will make the little snide remarks (with a big smile of course) - and I truly do feel sorry for those who miss out on the joys of big families, and lots and lots of babies!   

I actually had an older man in the airport make a comment to me not too long ago.  My husband wasn't there, or I don't think he would have said it, but right in front of my children, he asked if they were all mine (in the airport, whose kids would I have in an airport??) and when I said yes, he said, "Oh, you must not have a television!"  I was a little taken aback at his bluntness, but my kids were thankfully kind of confused.  Especially because, though we do have a tv, we never watch it, so the little ones were trying to figure out what a tv had to do with having babies!      It was kind of funny once I got over his rudeness!

[denim&lace]

Can you imagine the t-shirts we could come up w/ for her??  Wouldn't it be fun?  Here's one:  Cheaper by the baker's dozen  LOL!! 

How about:  Just one more....

I want to do a vanity plate that says  Jus1mr for our 15 passenger van. 

[lovetoreadmom]

Can you imagine the t-shirts we could come up w/ for her??  Wouldn't it be fun?  Here's one:  Cheaper by the baker's dozen  LOL!! 

How about:  Just one more....

I want to do a vanity plate that says  Jus1mr for our 15 passenger van. 

Oh, I like that one!!

BTW, D&L, I love your avatar.  She is soooooooooooo cute!!

[denim&lace]

Thank you. 

[Homeschool_Newbie]

mom2four wrote:

I had boy/girl twins first, at 20 years old - and I can't tell you how many times I heard, "Oh, aren't you lucky, now you don't have to do it again!"  

There is an aquaintace in my church who has been VERY openly sad for me that I do not have any girls. Almost every time I see her, she makes a comment about it. She herself has 2 boys, and recently had a girl, so I guess she thinks I got the raw end of the deal or something?? I have been trying to let her know that I am a happy thankful person, but she's just not " getting it". She makes a point of talking about how special the sister relationship is and such, and how she's just not as close to her brother.......... Her comments about girls  and sister relationships are, at times shockingly rude...but I think she is completely clueless to how she sounds. (I actually feel very sad for her because I think she's got some personal issues she needs to deal with.)  She recently asked me straight up: " If you have a girl, will you stop?" I said " No, we don't believe in trying for a certain gender, but we may be done anyway." I did not want to get into a personal conversation about whether or not we are " done", but I wanted her to know that I am happy and thankful for my children.  I run into her so often it's almost becoming laughable......I am almost beginning to think that God has a reason for this....? I told my DH that something is wrong with this lady.....does she have a problem with contentment, or what? Somehow, I feel like I am supposed to just love this lady, but I am not sure how? Last time we talked, she seems like a worn out  new mom, so I tried to encourage her to rest and give her body time to heal.  Our paths keep crossing, and I feel like this is not a coincidence.

mom2four wrote:

I feel very blessed to have them and we pray God will give us more someday

I pray you have more, too

The comments roll off easier the older you get (or wiser) - now, I am one that will make the little snide remarks (with a big smile of course)

mom2four: I had a suspicion that it gets easier to deal with the comments as you get older and wiser Good to " hear you" put it into words

truly do feel sorry for those who miss out on the joys of big families, and lots and lots of babies!  

So do I.........Just recently, I have caught myself wondering why there aren't more people who have the desire to have a big family and homeschool.....? My best guess is that they see all the work involved, but are unaware of the joy that overrides all the work.

My wonderful Christian mother loooooooooves her grandchildren, but I can tell that it's difficult for her to wrap her mind around all the work involved in having more than 2.
She comments all the time about how much work it takes to keep up with my gang.......
She calls me " amazing", but I feel that her compliment is uncalled for because I'm not amazing, but I do have God's grace.....and she has seen for herself that not everything gets done around here. I think I need to be honest with her and tell her how much joy they bring me.......Of course, then I might get a concerned comment from her asking if I plan to have more.

Denim and Lace- Your avatar is very sweet.........LOVE the outfit.........

[denim&lace]

Denim and Lace- Your avatar is very sweet.........LOVE the outfit.........

Thank you!

That's the fun of getting hand me downs from folks... sometimes the Christmas outfits don't fit at the right time of year... we wear them anyway.     They are PJ's after all and there is snow on the ground.   

[ladyhen]

Wow, hs_newbie,   It really sounds like the LORD is using you to somehow minister to this woman.    Keep praying for her and speaking the truth to her.   I've had many of her type in my life, too.    It seems that so many people have trouble understanding that sort of contentment. 

My 18 and 15 yo girls have gone to run some errands, including stopping to visit a friend of theirs in a family that is expecting #10.    They'll need a new vanity plate for the 15-pass. van.  The current one reads '9chldrn'.    We have other friends with 16 children.  They bought a small school bus for the family car.   Sometimes, I think my family of 5 children is pretty small.    It's all perspective, I suppose.

We were the first of my 4 siblings to have children and ended up being the last as well.  LOL!  So they are all just about finished or already finished with child rearing and we still have a couple young ones.   (youngest is 12)   

Seems to us, though, that children from large families usually want large families, themselves.  They don't fear the work or commitment of having a large family.    My girls already have a whole bunch of possible names picked out and they each want at least a half dozen children. 

I continue to believe that people who comment to us about children really are well-intentioned; or at least they speak from their own experience.   It's hard to think that people don't want or like children.   I guess I'm living in a bubble.      I like it, though!   

Cute baby, d&l!

[Homeschool_Newbie]

Ladyhen wrote:

My girls already have a whole bunch of possible names picked out and they each want at least a half dozen children. 

  Good to know

[Mom2four]

H'school Newbie - You commented on your mom and calling you "amazing."  It's funny, that sounds like my mom.  My parents had just my sister and me - though I have to say, they did want more, but they were probably trying for the boy!  Who knows?  Anyway,  we had our four, and we do have two boys and two girls - so I know people think we "planned" it that way, I can't stand that.  Anyway, it used to be that when we would talk about having more, my mom would always say "Are you trying to have more?  You know you have a beautiful family, just like you are."  I was never quite sure exactly what she was trying to say....was she implying that I couldn't handle any more or that having over four was just too difficult to explain, especially when we already had two of each?"  I'm still not sure what she was thinking, but once she finally heard (after about 10 times)  me say that we don't choose to use birth control and that we will have as many children as God blesses us with, now she tells everyone how "amazing" and "patient" I am and how I would just love to have a dozen children - and of course how much she and my dad would love every one of them!  In reality,  I am not amazing nor am I very patient at all, but I do believe in accepting blessings and since God calls children a blessing - I will take all of them He chooses to give.  I just kind of laugh at my mom, who is in church every time the doors open, yet she can't just say that we are choosing to accept all that God wishes to bless us with - she has to have a "reason" that keeps things under human control or planning.  I guess that is typical "human nature" - wanting to be in control.  Still, it makes me sad to see it lived out that way.

[Homeschool_Newbie]

I must say it was delightful to read through this thread again. You are an amazing group of encouraging women.

One thing I want to ask, though... if anyone is still reading this thread:

We are expecting #5   I still get the negative comments about my 4.... Dh and I are discussing *not* finding out this baby's gender. I am going to talk it over with my doctor and see if we have any chance of having an ultrasound and *not* finding out the gender. If for some reason baby flashes the goods across the screen, do you think it would be best to answer strangers ( who ask about gender) with " we're not telling"   I expect the curiosity to be very high this time, given what I've seen in the past...

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