OK, there have been a thousand descriptions of how a Jewish wedding works / worked... and of course, there probably are a thousand different versions... but I would like to focus on a Hollywood version for the moment. lol. Oddly, it seems to have merit.
I recently watched the movie
Defiance at the recommendation of others here... and enjoyed it very much... especially the brief wedding scene between Asael and Chayah. It demonstrated something that I had never seen demonstrated, but had described to my wife on many occasions: the implicit feminism in modern marriage vows. I had not known before how feminism is simply and clearly opposed by the simple, right structure of traditional Jewish (law of Moses) marriage:
The entire marriage (greatly shortened for the movie) proceeds like this:
Cantor:
| | Blessed art Thou, our God, king of the universe, who created man in His own image and out of Himself fashioned for us a lasting place.
Blessed art Thou, our God, king of the universe, who created all things for His glory.
Oh, gladden these loving mates as Thou did anciently gladden Thy creatures in Eden.
Blessed art Thou, O God, who gladdens the bridegroom and the bride.
Amen. |
Attendees
Groom puts a ring on the bride's hand and,
| | With this ring you are consecrated to me according to the law of Moses and Israel. |
Groom breaks a glass under foot, out of which both bride and groom had drunk...
Cantor:
Just a blessing according to the nature of creation and the God that made it, and the man telling his wife that she is now
holy unto him.
In ancient times and now, the man would also write a contract to the woman which was accepted by her and her father before the dowry was paid and the betrothal was initiated. This usually ensured that she would have certain care, food, housing, clothing and (even today in some orthodox settings) a certain number of nights a week duty of marriage.
The point? That this Jewish / Hebrew version of marriage:
- does not make the man and wife equal partners, rather the wife is holy unto the man, and she is promised certain things under the law and sometimes by contract.
- does not make the state a third and superior partner, rather the state is irrelevant to the marriage.
- does not tie the participants to financial "bribes" from the government to make sure that children are signed up to taxation roles, etc
- does not predicate the marriage on a person's ability to do what they have (foolishly, IMO) sworn to do, rather the expectations on the people involved are simply lawful expectations that the entire community shares. Some specific to marriage, some general... and that if there is violation, the person in violation is cut off from the community. Simple as that. Talk about strong encouragement to live righteously with your spouse.
- does not predicate the relationship on artificial promises of fidelity in circumstances that may or may not warrant "fidelity," but rather on natural constructs that God created and organized.
- does not differentiate between "qualities" of marriages. A "romantic" love story is not more desirable for a good outcome than that the couple simply needs each other and that each is willing to walk in righteousness with the other.
Note that I am not saying that modern Jewish marriages do not get marriage licenses... typically they do. I am talking about the older more purely Jewish (Mosaic) marriage, for instance, as presented in the movie Defiance. Note also that early American marriages shared a number of these traits even though the vows were typically
Anglican.
Interesting history of (European / "Christian") marriage vowsWhy did I post this?I guess because there is no real specific description of a Jewish / Hebrew wedding in the Bible, but all the constructs are there in the text of the law... they are just not explicit like in American law. This was a brilliant, simple expression of the typical (historical) interpretation of a wedding as regards the law of Moses... well maybe not the ring and the glass... probably more typical would be newly pierced ears and expensive earrings... who knows.
Also, my father in law wrote an article recently that got us talking about the issue and our own marriage... and so I decided to write this little movie review...
--gabe
