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[desertmama]

I have an almost 10 year old daughter who really wants to shave her legs. She is embarrassed about her leg hair. It does look like she could shave them, but I worry about her being mature enough to do this. Maybe nair would be a better choice? If anyone has some advice about this subject I would appreciate it.

[boysmama]

I remember being very embarrassed of my leg hair. My mom didn't have to shave so I had to wait a few years till I figured it out on my own. IMO if she is ladylike enough to be bothered by it she is grown up enough to shave. I am not sure if you're concerned about razor safety when you mention maturity level? I would not use nair. It is chemical and dangerous especially to a growing child. MY!! that stuff smells and feels nasty. I tried it ONCE. I did read on welltellme about "shaving stones" but haven't really checked it out. That might be an option.

[Kansas Girl]

I completely agree with boysmama!!!  I remember being terribly embarrassed by my leg hair.  It was dark and noticeable.  My parents didn't really understand my embarrassment and therefore attempted to keep me a little girl instead of showing me how to be a lady.  It took a lot of courage for her to come to you with her embarrassment, please consider allowing her to do it.  -KG

[joychild24seven]

I have to ditto the above comments.. I would also reccommend using this as an opportunity to celebrate her womanhood... buy her a good razor (it's really hard to even nick yourself with a Venus razor and they aren't all that expensive... I find the blades last over a month with my once or twice a week shaving! Also, hair conditioner is my favorite shaving cream). I would tell  her how to shave... how high to go, how often, what to do if you do nick yourself, to rinse out the razor when she's done, that she probably only needs to shave just higher than her knees at this point, etc, all in a very matter-of-fact way. It's easy to forget that what makes sense to all of us now was absolutely foriegn at some point. Since you've probably not subscribed to any current teen magazines (which is good btw  ) she'll appreciate learning it from you, whenever you teach her. Blessings on you in your motherhood!!!

[desertmama]

Thank you all for your posts. My mom didn't talk to me about shaving so I went through embarrassment over it too. This is partly why I was not sure when to teach her. I guess I got a little freaked out about handing my baby ( almost 10) a razor! LOL Your point that it would be difficult to cut herself is well taken.

[hollyolly123]

I heartliy agree with all of the above (I went behind my mom's back to shave because I was so embarrassed when I was 10).  I don't know what area of the country you live it but maybe just have her shave to below her knees if it's too cool for shorts, or if you'r family doesn't do shorts.  That would be good practice, at least the first few times.  However, I had bumpy, itchy skin on my thighs until I started shaving them, then they got smooth.  Just a few thoughs.

[khix]

Wow, this is an old thread!  But, I'm glad I found it, because my 12yo dd is asking to shave her legs.  I've been hesitant about it, for various reasons, but maybe it's time.  One reason I'm hesitant, is that once you start, there's no going back!  LOL!

One more thing I've been wondering is - WHY in the world are ladies "required" (at least, our society requires it) to shave their legs (& armpits)?  It can't be for health reasons....it's got to just be for beauty reasons....I guess it's attractive to the male gender....but WHO in the world decided that hairless legs on a woman was attractive?  When did shaving legs first start?  Does anyone know where I can find the history of shaving?

Are there any other (more practical) reasons that ladies shave their legs?

[~esposita~]

lol, khix!  I've wondered why we (yes, I do too, when I remember  ) shave our legs.  As an aside, in India when a man goes to the barber's for a hair cut, a hair cut includes shaving the armpit hair  with a straight razor!!    They consider it more hygienic, I guess.

Here is one of the young fellows that went with DH to India back in '05.  (For the record, DH didn't get his hair cut  )

[rainygladness]

That's quite a picture.    Strange that men would want that!
As for the history of women's shaving, I read that prior to the early 1900's, women didn't practice shaving legs and underarms at all.  Their clothing covered all those areas.   Then after WW I in north america and western europe, women's clothing slowly became more revealing and advertisers used heavy propoganda telling women to remove unsightly hair (razor companies sales soared, too).  So women basically said, "Baaaa" and started shaving.     
And apparently not much has changed since here we are a century later still following that ancient indoctrination of what was "proper" when really it was all designed to sell clothes and razors!   If it were culturally acceptable, I think many women would skip the hassle and go 'au naturalle'. 

[smfmommy]

Here is from Wikipedia

For women, the practice of shaving the legs derives from a current cultural standard in the West that deems leg hair on women unattractive. This standard emerged during the early twentieth century, as women's legs became more visible owing to shorter hemlines, and when the safety razor made the practice of leg shaving practical. The reasons for this cultural standard are debated, but it is sometimes seen as an example of a cultural mechanism for increasing sexual dimorphism. Others have suggested that it was promoted as a means of selling razors to a broader segment of the populace. From an evolutionary standpoint, the likely reason for the female practice of shaving their legs is because males prefer younger, more fertile looking women and in not so distant history women would start procreating as young as 12 years old. Older, hairier women would have to compete with the younger women by shaving their legs.

I truly feel that it is the idea of staying young forever that inspires the practice of shaving.

According to this site http://www.quikshave.com/timeline.htm women have been removing hair from their bodies with unhealthy creams since Greek and Roman times.  Apparently we haven't learned our lesson 3000 years later.

I do shave my lower legs though.  My eldest is 12 and I will wait until she wishes to shave to teach her.  

I had the opposite experience as the original poster.  When I was about 13 my mother looked disapprovingly at my legs and said I should start shaving.  When I said I didn't know how she told me to go ask my sister (who gave me a few directions in a tone that made it clear that it was obvious to anyone with a brain).  So I started shaving in an attitude of shame and stupidity.  Please don't do that to your girls no matter when they start!

 

[BJ_BOBBI_JO]

Some of our modern day fashions seem so sinceless to me. I still dont understand why we must shave our legs and endure razor burn in order to be acceptable to society? With that and women thinking they need implants, plastic surgery and starving themselves to death to be bone thin bags of skin with no muscles makes no since to me. I'll never understand why men think that is pretty when it seems to me Gods way would be prettier and He made hair on our legs for a reason anyways. Dont know what it is tho.

But I guess that's just the way it is. I too was horribibly embarrassed at age 13 because my legs were not shaved. My mom had light colored leg hair so it didnt bother her to be unshaved but I had my dads dark hair and it showed big time on my pale white pasty leg skin. I had to sneak into my dads razors and learn to shave my legs on my own using the same razor over and over until it was dull and rusty enduring many small cuts. So please parents if your girl is feeling ready to shave teach her to shave and give her the supplies to shave so she wont have to be embarrassed and teach herself to shave the unsafe way like I did.

[ridgerunner]

I too feel that it's important to talk to girls about shaving eary on before they have time to get embarassed and do something unsafe.  I got embarassed about my leg hair and was being teased about it (in the CHRISTIAN school I went too) and my Mom told me I was too young to shave and shouldn't be thinking about those things anyway.  I was so embarassed (and all the razors were hidden) that I actually sneaked a pocket knife into my bedroon and tried to shave my legs with a pocket knife and ended up cutting myself badly.  I was punished for that, and then allowed to shave with many remonstances about how it was still 'wrong' that I would even want to at my age.     

[Homeschool_Newbie]

I think this is one of those issues that is different from say: wearing make-up. I think when it comes to hygiene, a girl should be allowed to do whatever is necessary to feel good about herself...

Slighly O/T, but I think a girl should be allowed to wear tampons or use the INSTEAD cup as soon as she reaches that age... I was not allowed these things until I hit 15 or so... I can remember some embarressing moments before that time.

[rejoicing]

I too was wondering why?  Of course this was after my mom got a glimse of my hairy legs last week and told my how disgusting and unsanitary it was! LOL!    I told her, why? because society tells us so?     It's winter, extra warmth. right? LOL!!!   

[sohnnenstrahl]

Warning: Dangerous opinion forthcoming...

Take it to the Dad, assuming there is one. I realize there is not always one. Also, if the Dad has told the Mom to figure it out, then, uh, I guess, skip this part.

Earlier in our marriage, my husband noticed that I hadn't been shaving my legs or armpits anymore. He commented on it unfavorably, and I sanctimoniously informed him of why I didn't need to, shouldn't, didn't want to, blah blah blah. It didn't change his opinion. I claimed the moral high ground with "God put the hair on my legs and in my armpits."

Later, after God graciously took the blinders off my eyes, I submitted to my husband's wishes about shaving, and he was glad. So I made him happy by shaving my legs and armpits. So I took off some hair that God had put there. It didn't kill me. Previously I had almost thought that it would.

About things like this, when the topic comes up, we tell our girls, maybe your husband will want you to wear pants, and you will be happy to wear them. Maybe he will will want you to wear bracelets and get your ears pierced, or maybe he will want you to wear skirts and dresses, but no jewelry. Maybe he will want you to curl your hair. Or not. It will be a joy to please him.

Our oldest girl has not brought this up, but I plan to take it to my husband if she asks. He may want her to learn to do what Mom does. He may say she's not old enough. He may say, "Let her husband decide. Until then, she can wear the hair on her legs." He may say, "You decide that one." I do not know. What I do know is that it's not a problem for me to try to figure out if he does have an opinion on it.

But if he wants me to decide? I'll letcha know when I get there!

Love,
Helen

[ridgerunner]

My husband would be absolutely mortified if I asked him anything related to femenine hygeine, especially as concerns our daughter.  Funny how people are different...

[denim&lace]

My husband would be absolutely mortified if I asked him anything related to femenine hygeine, especially as concerns our daughter.  Funny how people are different...

Haha, mine too.  I'm sure he would just look at me as though I had grown a second head and change the subject. LOL

[sohnnenstrahl]

Uh, er, um, ah, well, mine would, too, if it were something in feminine hygiene having to do with private parts.       Since to us armpits and legs are fairly innocuous for conversation (though we cover them! hm...), it never occurred to me that it wouldn't seem that way to others. How provincial of me! I think I butted into the wrong conversation. Sorry, ladies! 

[smfmommy]

I think I butted into the wrong conversation. Sorry, ladies! 

I don't think anybody sees you as butting in.  It was a good thing to bring up.  My hubby has no problem discussing the forth coming "change" in our daughter and wouldn't be bothered by being asked about shaving but after 15 years in retail and stocking feminine hygiene products he isn't too sensitive about those topics.      Everyone's man is different and I am sure the ladies were just laughing at the response they would get from their particular hubby than the premise of getting the leader of the home's opinion.

 

[denim&lace]

Oh, no Helen.  You didn't butt in at all.   You are invited to share your thoughts on the subject. 

I think that some husbands (read 'mine') has other things of weight to consider and would rather not be involved in the decision of when our daughters would begin shaving their parts... while other husbands (perhaps  yours?) would like to be consulted on the matter.

I was glad to read your input and thought it was a wise approach to consider.

[ladyhen]

LOL!   

Helen, My man most definitely wants to be 'kept in the loop' with our daughters.   It truly is funny to hear how different families do things. 

But that is just the way things are around here.  He also encourages sensibility and pragmatism in all of us women.   For instance, shaving your legs in the winter when normal feminine apparel here is long skirts, leggings, and knee socks just isn't encouraged.     We all enjoy being members of  'the woolly mammoth club'.      Body hair isn't viewed as 'gross' or abnormal in any way and our daughters have all raised their eyebrows when, as teens, they were assaulted by so-called friends who expressed disgust and horror at them having hair on their arms.      Evidently there are some who remove all body hair possible.   We are far too natural and hairy for that custom to catch on here. 

In keeping with the topic, our daughters were all around 13 or 14 when they began to shave.   Because of being homeschooled and in a close family where body hair is normalized, they went a few years beyond the norm.    (One of our girls is quite a klutz and I wish she would STOP shaving, as she usually comes out of the shower and heads right for the bandaids!     Was able to get her to use fine sandpaper for hair removal for a few months, but she's back to razors now. )

[sohnnenstrahl]

 
Well, in the case of the girl whose Daddy doesn't want a two-headed wife, or has expressed a wish for the Mom to handle it all in that area (knee-to-ankle feminine hygiene  ), then my vote is with the ladies who said to help them along with it when they express the desire, since we're obviously talking about a family where this is an accepted/encouraged/preferred practice for women, in the OP. Over and out!

[ridgerunner]

Oh mercy NO Helen, I certainly didn't mean to make you feel like you were butting in.  Like I said, it's funny how people are different.  My husband would be particularly confused, totally embarassed and a bit perturbed if I asked him what he thought about DD shaving her legs, but that's just us. 

[GarlicMomma]

Here is an interesting time line of shaving. Seems like fashion trends for the most part.

http://www.quikshave.com/timeline.htm

[steadygirl]

This is a topic I have ranted about in my head and occasionally to my husband. ( he just laughs at me  ) He didn't like that I didn't shave my legs in the winter when we were first married, but was nice enough to tell me he changed his mind later.  I think maybe he thought hair was softer than stubble. I do try to do a good job of keeping up in the summer and prefer to have non- hairy armpits all year.  My three yr old wasn't much impressed by my hairy legs peaking out from under my nightgown, though! He told me I needed to " make them not look that way". I asked him why and he said "looked like Daddy's legs"!   
I think it is a rather silly cultural thing, but after hearing some of the nasty comments about women with hairy legs/ armpits made by other people, I am not going to be a trendsetter in this area!
Oh, and I was one of those embarrassed kids who needed t o shave earlier than I did, but I thought that it would be like those razor/shaving cream commercials where the mom says "here is your bar of soap and here is your razor". I waited for a couple years and even got teased quite a bit, but I was scared to talk to my Mom about it. I mean it was obvious my legs were hairy! One day we were getting ready to go somewhere  and she said" I am not taking a girl with hairy legs." I ran overjoyed up to the bathroom got them hair less and a bit razor burnt, too! I was 14! Do your kids a favor and help them when it is time.

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