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[MrsHope]

In need help in the form of advice and/or encouragement. I feel burnt out. It has been building over the last several weeks, but now I just feel I need help.

We have 3 children, ages 3 1/2, 2, and 7 months. I do 100% of the child training, and taking  care of them. My husband works a lot and is out of town on business trips an average of 1 1/2-2 weeks per month. Our families are both thousands of miles away. I have no like-minded friends (as in no Christians). My friends that I keep contact with have a whole different mindset about raising children, which is that they basically can't wait until their kids are in school so they can have more time to themselves (yes, they tell me that). My husband is not a Christian. We don't attend a church.

I feel on the edge these last few weeks. Every day is the same. I am tired. My youngest still wakes an average of twice a night. I don't ever sleep past 6am. Weekends are no different than weekdays, except that my husband is here which is wonderful, but as great as he is, he doesn't help at all with the children and he is absorbed by his Blackberry most of the day. I know he works hard for us, but sometimes I would rather be poor if he would just have more time with us.

I try to be happy all the time, but the last few days I am finding it difficult to impossible. I feel always like I am about to lose my temper. I have yelled at the children a few times and feel miserable about it and that I must be a failure. I feel like I need a break. Or something, I just don't know. We don't leave the children with sitters and I have no desire to, but I want to be a good and nice mommy. Please help me. I just really need some perspective here.

[denim&lace]

Ah, Mrs. Hope... it must be going around.   

Everything that you said (except for husband not being Christian) right down to not going to church applies to my life right now too.  I do have one likeminded friend, but she lives 50 miles away and we are trying to conserve right now, so visits just aren't reasonable at the moment.  And I would join DH on his computer game on the weekend if I wasn't chasing kiddo's and so uncomfortable pregnant.  Even sitting for any amount of time is not comfortable right now.  I'm just tuckered plum out! (as my Daddy would put it...)     

If you were close we would get together and the kids could all put on their rain gear and my bigger kids could play with the littles in the back yard where we could watch through the sliding door...  and you and I could sit and chat and have a cup of tea.  Jasmine green tea, it relaxes my nerves, but I have chamomile too if you'd prefer.     Then we could pray together, for one another, and maybe we could even bake something yummy and sweet so the whole house could fill the the aroma of baking.  And we could call in our happy, rosy cheeked children and suprise them with a yummy treat, and then you could go home and lay your littles down for a nap...  Ah... sounds sweet doesn't it? 

Back to reality.     

I am not a 'send my kids to school so I can have some time' kind of mommy, but I am an introvert and sometimes I do get drained from being every bodies everything, and I have to find a way to re-group.

I find that being on 7X can sometimes stress me out.  The talk of end times and all the kids falling away from Christ and people getting a little snippy with one another on occasion... it gets to me, and I have to take a break... but that seems hard too, because 7x often IS my break!  That's when I realize I need to turn the computer off and pick up my Bible and get close to Jesus.  It's hard sometimes because Jesus doesn't always feel tangible like the people on here... you get an answer in black and white from here!    But He is MORE than all our friends here.  He is. 

Then I notice that I've been putting too much stock in the relationships with folks on here and too little into my relationship with God...  I've let the people here become my foundation... and frankly, as wonderful as all these folks are, they just don't compare to Jesus.  The strength and wisdom and fellowship I gain from them is good, but it isn't like kneeling before the throne of my Lord... 

Well...  I guess I'm getting off of here for the rest of the day.  But I hope that you know that you aren't alone.  I am feeling much the same as you are and I hope that we both have our foundations back  under us soon.     When I am talking to Jesus, I'll be sure to mention you and ask for some comfort to come your way.   

D&L

[Mrs. B]

WOW....
Mrs Hope you are going to the top of my prayers for this week!  
I only had 2 kids 4 years apart, and I thought that was kind of hard.  You definitely have a job to do, and I know how difficult it is to be around people who aren't supportive.
I guess I would ask how you structure your days.  Do your kids take naps?   Also, are you getting good nutrition and daily exercise?  Figure out a way to take the kids with you on walks or hikes.... stroller or wagons for the older and  the baby in a carrier works well, and get them used to regular exercise.
SOmetimes for us we would just all pile on the bed in the afternoon and I would read to them.  The little one would usually fall asleep, and I could rest as well if needed.
I find that many mothers get burned out due to doing the same things day after day, and it seems that each day will last an eternity.  I would encourage you to study something that is new and interesting to you.  Seek out a friend in your area or learn a new skill.  I guess my feeling on this is that ' mommy mode' tends to be alot of the same things over and over and our minds need stimulation as well.  
Also... I never thought that alot of  like minded people lived near us and I was really wrong.  If you are planning on homeschooling, go ahead and see if there are any support groups in your area.  Even if you don't homeschool, you might meet several other women with your views and interests.  I've also met a few ladies from WTM in my area who have become wonderful friends and support.

[Mrs. B]

Also...Some days are just going to be harder than others.  You sound like a wonderful wife and mother. 
I feel inspired by you just wanting to put on a happy face for your family. 
Again you are in my prayers....

[boysmama]

It is indeed "going around". 

Sometimes it helps  just stop everything and get down with the kiddos and play, or if they are a bit too energetic for my level of energy, curl up with them on the couch and read books.    We might even pull out some Bible stories ' cause when you feel like you need a miracle or some supernatural strength there is nothing like stories of miracles and a God bigger than all to refresh my faith. 
Even 5-10 minutes can dispel the panicky, overwhelmed, I'm-about-to-scream feelings. For me, these days are filled with canning and other processes that you just can't "quit" for even 10 minutes. But the boys can still gather round. My boys are just old enough to tell ME the story, or sing to me or we put on some music or dramatized story.

Physically I can also take a couple deep breaths, relax my face, and mentally step back and say "thanks God for all these blessings and as you can see I need some help here." " I can do this with YOUR help."

If all your days feel the same, do something simple, yet unusual  like eat lunch sitting UNDER the table. Weird idea, I know, and if I "get" the way you feel, the effort to plan even a small thing seems next to impossible, but please do try it! 
Try some comic relief...let everyone wear a washcloth on their head for 1/2 an hour.  Make a weird face or put on an accent...capitalize on your uniqueness to get yourself and your children laughing. Laughter is good medicine and actually releases feel good hormones into your body.

Adrenal fatigue is pretty common. If you've never looked into some of the basic helps are extra vit C and magnesium, lots of water and sea salt on your food.

I'll say a prayer for both of you every time I feel overwhelmed the next few days. 

[Homeschool_Newbie]

I'll be praying too

Staying in the word, and praying those prayers where you actually beat on the door of heaven saying " God help me!!!!!" is very important... I have actually asked God for some R and R time, and he has granted that request

Also, from a practical perspective, make sure those kiddos are on a schedule and having a quiet time/nap time each day that is non-negotiable.... I am surprised at how many of my friends say they are worn out, but naptime/quiet time is optional at their house

With your baby... man, I know that feeling of having one that does not sleep through the night... It's rough... My first and second born kiddos were that way for a long, long time.... We actually changed parenting styles with the 3rd and 4th born, and it helped tremendously in helping them sleep better. Basically, " Secrets of the baby whisperer" was  the plan that helped my youngest children.... The main changes were just making sure they got all their calories during the day, and " tanking them up" with food at night... Your baby might be at an age for the cry it out, if you are not opposed to that idea... Just some thoughts...

Praying for you!

[kamom]

  What if you tried (along with getting a nap) to count all your blessing every day, every hour. I have found that my negative emotions seem to build and explode if I say mental things like " I can't do this another day, another minute."  I know it's very hard, but refuse any negative thoughts about your situation.  And as was mentioned try to find humor and blessings in your situation.  hth

[seekingtruth]

I have a just turned 4, 2, and 9 month old- they can keep you busy.  I am grateful to have my older girls to help.  You have gotten some great ideas, encouragement here. 

A couple more ideas- try to get them outside as much as possible.  Let them connect with the earth- go barefoot, sit on the grass and read a book or look for bugs.  It is good for them and you- it helps to release negative energy and helps you sleep better.

If you are in Ohio- come on over for tea!

There is probably some pretty like minded people around- you just need to look in the right places.  I would try to get in touch with homeschoolers in the area.  They can be a great source of friends and a mother's helper.  Try to find a young girl (8- 12 is a good range) to come over and play with your little ones.  Most girls that age just love to play with babies- many don't have little siblings.  Your children will love having a new friend and it can give you a chance  chance to take a little break. 

Other places to look-  a coop, the children's librarian, the health food store.  Sometimes you just need to be bold and say hello!

Praying that you start feeling better and find some support. 

Tammy

[MrsHope]

I really want to thank everyone here for all the help, advice and prayers. It really means so much, I guarantee you! I went through all the wonderful replies and have compiled a list of things to do:

(First of all, D&L, I think you are me. Seriously, your post was like me writing to myself!)

1. Depend on HIM first
2. Count my blessings out loud, or write them down, several times through the day. I plan to keep a list next to the baby's chair where I nurse her.
3. Look into adrenal fatigue (I heave heard of this but don't know anything about it)
4. Make sure baby is getting her calories during the day to try and help with night sleep (I admit, I am too lazy to let her cry. Meaning...it's easier for me...in the short run anyway...to get up and feed her for 10 minutes than it is to listen to her crying for an hour)
5. Refuse negative thoughts. Actively speak and think on positive things. (whatsoever things are good...)
6.Look into homeschool groups, or at least plan to when the baby drops her first nap. As of right now, it's too hard to get out too many days because of messing up the nap schedule.

To answer about naps, yes all the girls still take naps. However, they aren't always lined up so that I have much time to myself. I try to get them all to overlap nicely, but with 3 it is hard to accomplish that some days. The 3-year-old (almost 4 now) is starting to drop hers so she has about 3 days a week where she doesn't nap. On those days, we have time together where we do something like clean the chicken pen or look for berries out back or something while the others sleep.

To answer about exercise. I do exercise. I have been doing T-tapp. Really seriously, actually, for about 2 months now. I haven't had any results in the form of weight loss or inch loss yet. But I do feel stronger. My problem is that because I am always needing more sleep, I crave starchy, sugary foods. And so I have actually gained 10 pounds since my third daughter was born.  Anyone know of a quick weight-loss solution??? 

D&L, one thing you said really identified me, and that is that sometimes I get overwhelmed thinking of all the end times stuff. Feeling very hopeless when me husband is not a believer. I know I need to trust God and let him work in Dh's life, but that is so hard for me to do. I always feel like I need a plan, and this requires a whole different type of plan than I am used to, namely, being a good helpmeet and mommy with a meek and quiet spirit. That is quite the opposite of how I feel sometimes.

All of you...thank you....I mean that very dearly.

[veggie]

To answer about naps, yes all the girls still take naps. However, they aren't always lined up so that I have much time to myself. I try to get them all to overlap nicely, but with 3 it is hard to accomplish that some days. The 3-year-old (almost 4 now) is starting to drop hers so she has about 3 days a week where she doesn't nap. On those days, we have time together where we do something like clean the chicken pen or look for berries out back or something while the others sleep.

I have to put my plug in here for a designated "quiet time" everyday.  Especially now that your older child is actually dropping her nap.  Is there any way you could turn a few "gymnastics" to get her quiet time lined up with a nap for the other two?  I'm sure it's more complicated when you're juggling 3 kids, but well worth it if you can make it happen.  I did this with my oldest when the youngest was a baby.  She didn't sleep any more so the time of day wasn't as important as making it happen at some point during the day!  The days she doesn't sleep she could also go to bed earlier (she might actually need to).  It's nice that you spend special time with her when she doesn't nap.  I don't want to suggest that you give up spending time with her.  Maybe you could split the time -- 1/2 of it she spends doing something quietly in a designated spot like listening to story tapes, coloring, books, etc., and the other 1/2 she spends with you.  Giving yourself that break during the day could make a huge difference for you!!

Would you be in a financial position to hire a mother's helper?  On occasion I have paid a teenage girl that I know to come over for a couple of hours and play with the kids (usually costs me about $12 each time)  She's got all kinds of energy that I don't have to play and wear them out and it's not just a break for me -- it's a break for the kids as well.  I'm still there if they need me, but it gives me a mental and physical break.  Sometimes I spend that break folding laundry, sometimes taking a shower, and sometimes simply putting my feet up for a little bit.  Give yourself permission to do that sometimes!  The dishes will still be there when you're done.     And sometimes you can face your responsibilities with a new perspective when you've had a little time to rest or do something different.

Lastly, have you ever discussed your needs with your husband?  Not every husband can be approached when it comes to stuff like this, I know.  But perhaps he is clueless?  I know my husband was a bit clueless after our first child was born.  I had to verbalize my needs and once he knew he was more than willing to lend the support I needed.  He is a very steady, hard-working sort and his work continues into the evening after the kids go to bed, but he is more than happy to be involved with the children after he comes home from work before they go to bed.  He just needed a head's up!  Is your hubby the type who'd be willing to take them for an hour or two when he's home so you could take a nap, or a break or whatever? 

As for the blackberry -- you have my deepest sympathy.  I've heard it referred to as the "other woman" more than a few times.  I don't know if it's just a man thing or what???  But I think modern technology, while awfully nice and convenient at times, has allowed people to become disconnected and rude.  Okay, enough on that.  That's a whole different thread.   

[denim&lace]

MrsHope, maybe we live in parallel universes.   

Anyone know of a quick weight-loss solution??? 

Move more, eat less.  That is the only real weight loss solution I've found.  There's some other helps... chromium helps me because I have a really hard time taking it off due to sugar/insulin issues.  (chromium gtf from Natures Sunshine is the best, hands down)  Green tea is a good help too...  but the real solution is the same as it has always been.  Move more, eat less.   

D&L, one thing you said really identified me, and that is that sometimes I get overwhelmed thinking of all the end times stuff. Feeling very hopeless when me husband is not a believer. I know I need to trust God and let him work in Dh's life, but that is so hard for me to do. I always feel like I need a plan, and this requires a whole different type of plan than I am used to, namely, being a good helpmeet and mommy with a meek and quiet spirit. That is quite the opposite of how I feel sometimes.

Think about all those OT folks walking around without a plan and still reaping the benefits, protection and blessings of God!  Really, do ya think David was walking along on his way to check on his brothers thinking to  himself, "If I ever run into a giant that is trying to take the kingdom of Israel by force, I'm going to pull out my sling and a stone and pop him right between the eyes!"  I seriously doubt it.  He was doing what all boys his age would have done, he was walking along singing or whistling, smacking the weeds with his shepherds staff, maybe even pointing it at a bird as it flew by and saying "BANG" (well, I've never met a boy that didn't point things and say 'bang'!)  Yet, God granted him protection and VICTORY!  He didn't need a plan, he just needed God.

One thing David did have was some learning.  He knew how to use a sling so when the time came he could use it effectively.  He didn't have to go through sling training at the time of crisis...  There was no reason for  him to sit around and worry about what he might run into because he knew he had some skills that God could use.  Whether he was protecting Dad's sheep from a bear or the whole nation of Israel from an army, he was prepared.  We would all do well to develop some skills like that.  That is why I'm trying to learn what weeds around here can be eaten and used for medicinal purposes.  How to dry the bilberries and preserve the raspberries that grow so thick here, so they can be used later.  How to build a fire without matches and teaching my kids how to build a temporary structure for survival... because life throws us some curves sometimes and we may find ourselves out berry picking when a sudden storm moves in or something.  We may not ever use the skills for end times stuff, but we may be able to use them for our own survival or the survival of others... maybe even to the glory of God, someday!

Here are a few other OT folks (among many) that didn't seem to have a plan, but had God's protection and blessings anyway.   

Esther
Ruth
Deborah
Joshua
Daniel

Just to get ya started.

Know what?  My husband isn't worrying himself about end times stuff either.  He's been feeling convicted about paying off our debts, so that is what he is working on.  Now, I can see how being out of debt may be a protection and a blessing if end times events were to begin taking place in our lifetime, but even if they don't, it'll be a blessing to not be slave to the credit cards any longer!     He don't like me being worried about such stuff either, but he really don't mind having a learned and capable wife who is ready for the unexpected.  He's kind of proud that I can usually fix our kids without running off to the ER every time something happens.  He likes telling his friends and co-workers to give me a call when they complain about some sickness or injury.  He is confident that I can take care of our family even if the hospitals all got blown away...  And I'm proud that he is such a hard worker.  I know that if he lost his job (or jobs) that he would take care of us, somehow.  He'd kill or catch food, cut or chop firewood, and trade back breaking labor for goods if necessary.  We wouldn't go hungry even if he had to learn something new.  He isn't lazy and he is determined to take care of us.   And he's smart enough to learn about anything he needs to know...  So I am confident he could take care of us even without a 'plan'.   

We don't have a plan, but we've got a few skills and with the help of God, we can learn and develop new skills as we need them.       

Just remember, God is sovereign!  He don't need a notebook to keep His plans in and he don't need OUR plans to accomplish HIS goals!
   

[ridgerunner]

LOL!!!

Really, do ya think David was walking along on his way to check on his brothers thinking to  himself, "If I ever run into a giant that is trying to take the kingdom of Israel by force, I'm going to pull out my sling and a stone and pop him right between the eyes!"

This is so funny - and AWESOME!  Just what I was needing to hear.  Thanks for this post D&L.  Hope it helps Mrs. Hope as much as it does me.

[Amy Joy]

A lot of great advice for  Mrs. Hope!  Guess I’ll add my own 2 cents to the mix.

When our children were little, my husband’s work was demanding. With long hours and a long rountrip commute in stressful traffic, he would arrive home late and exhausted.  So, in the evenings and on weekends, he REALLY needed “time off” to rest and to just play with us.

Therefore, I found it helped to keep my own self rested during the days so I could continue to “handle things” with the kids and household when he was home at night.  I used several of the tips mentioned above, and here are three more things for you to consider: 

1. Bed-training

I taught our children to stay quietly in their beds or cribs until mommy or daddy came to get them (it was usually me, by the way). 

I made this fun for them by having  certain toys or books that they could play with in bed.  Potty-trained children were shown how to use the toilet and get straight back into bed, all by themselves.   I also taught a few ditties, finger plays and songs to pass the time in bed.  A tape recorder or CD player was set up and ready to go, too.  The oldest could press “play” but  not alter the volume. 

Our children shared rooms and learned to play quietly, not awakening siblings.  However, IF everyone was awake, then they could talk and laugh or swap toys and books amongst themselves.  But they stayed in their own beds in the morning or at nap times.  This helped me to sleep deeply and well until the alarm clock sounded, because I KNEW my young ones would be safe and happy and quiet if they woke up ahead of schedule. 

2. Darkness and Silence

When you sleep at night… or rest during the day… are you in total darkness?  I think ladyhen has written about this on WTM or 7xS.  If you cannot install blackout curtains, there are certain brands of eye pads that are comfortable and block out ALL light, which helps one rest more deeply. 

Regarding silence, you might want to try a few different brands of 33 rated earplugs until you find one that feels comfortable to you.  Earplugs allow me to rest or sleep in deep silence, which I have found to be emotionally and physically healthful. 

(If you are concerned about being able to hear your kids, you could put the earplugs in loosely or use them only at night when your husband is home.)   

See… it is my opinion is that moms can sometimes get “over stimulated” themselves when they have many little ones who are ALL that little!  I think that by removing some of the stimulation of sound and light, and “going limp” in rest, in total darkness and in silence, it can work wonders for you.  Even if you don’t really sleep.  Which brings me to part of my last tip:

3.  Nap when they nap  (And take cat-naps as needed.)

My advice would be to resist the urge to think, “Oh, good, they’re finally asleep for an hour.  NOW I can (fill in the blank).”   

Instead, lay down and fall asleep when they nap.  Or, at the very least, rest in darkness and silence, gettting up pretty much when they get up.  You ALL need the sleep! 

Another thought:  Don’t be afraid to take cat-naps, wherever you are at, if you need them.  If my children were playing around my feet (with blocks or whatever), I would instruct them to stay in the room with me and play quietly while I leaned back on the couch and closed my eyes for a few minutes.  Breathe slowly like you’re sleeping even if you’re not.  Eye pads would be good at this point, too.  If you put your earplugs in loosely, you will still hear well enough to know if there is a problem that surfaces, but the environmental noise will be dimmed while you rest a few minutes.  Frequent small rests throughout the day will have you feeling renewed and more alert in no time, I believe. 

A Parting Thought

“Sameness” can be tiring, I know.  I remember when every day of the week was the same for me, over and again, without end, or so it seemed.       

But… 

We who have “passed through the fire” and came out alive on the other side can assure you that this season of life you are in will pass away WAY TOO SOON, and you will likely miss having it... and you will long to relive its preciousness once again.  The very things that seem most difficult to endure right now (i.e. the sameness, and perhaps your children’s constant need of you) are likely the memories you will most cherish in the future as you look back and remember. 

Be of good cheer, Mrs. Hope, you seem to be doing a great job!

So, my RX for you today is regular, deep, consistent SLEEP… and NAPS… in darkness and silence, as much as possible.  When we are well-rested, we feel we can “take on the world” and handle just about anything. 

Hope this helps. 

[MrsHope]

I am just so happy at all the good advice and care and concern from you all. That in itself gives me energy!

veggie—I have thought about a mother's helper. I think about it, and then it always ends in my mind something like this: "well, that's just one more thing I have to prepare for. I'd have to go through the trouble of finding someone I like and the girls enjoy. Then I'd have to make myself decent enough for company everytime she comes...that means not wearing the same outfit three times a week!  Oh, well it's just easier to do it myself." So needless to say, I haven't got very far on that.

I have discussed these things with my husband. I have probably brought it to him in the wrong way. Sounding like I am complaining, at the end of my rope, so to speak. He has requested having help, but mostly what I really need from him is encouragement and maybe a "hey, you're doing a good job" ...neither of which he is prone to say. He does play with the children when he comes home from work. But some nights that's only 10 minutes. He's a great man, but he owns his company and is so busy dealing with those people that I feel his head is mostly on work.

As far as the Blackberry, it's funny you say that because I refer to it as his mistress. Sometimes he even puts it on the bed during the night and then I really make the jokes. I always tell him I am going to throw his mistress into a lake one of these days. Or that I need to grow a screen and keypad so he will notice me. All in good fun, of course. 

D&L—great points as usual. I am actually pretty heavy into survival/long-term storage research right now. Just two days ago, we discovered 3 different types of berries in our back woods that are edible that we had no idea about. I'm in the process putting together a long-term survival kit, so that has been a nice diversion. As long as I can keep the worry down, I just want to learn as much as I can to be prepared if we need to be. Your illustration definitely helps! 

AmyJoy—your advice lifted me up. You mean I don't have to feel guilty about sleeping??? I wish someone would have told me that before.   You are right. The second they are all asleep, I think of all the things I could get done...clean the windows, clean the bathrooms, do the dishes. It's kind of silly, because I never really feel like I get much done because I'm always waiting for someone to wake up. So maybe I'll try getting a quick nap in. I fell asleep nursing the baby for her bedtime tonight. So yes, maybe I need a nap!

One thing that I can't seem to get over is that when Dh is out of town, I have a harder time sleeping. Even with the alarm on, I still hear every little noise and get a little creeped out. It's worse when he first leaves, but when he comes back, I sleep so much better.

I am sure what you say about this season of life passing too soon is very true. I already think of that sometimes. Reading books together is when I think of that. So I guess when I am feeling overwhelmed, I need to think on those things.

(4 kids in less than 5 years??? Really? Boy, what I'm doing is easy then!  )

Again, LOVING this advice and encouragement. I hope it helps others as well. Thank you all so much.

[SarahK]

I post more frequently on WellTellMe, so some of you may know me from there.  Click my link to my intro if you would like to know where I'm coming from.

I have had 4 children under 4 for about 10 years now.  It's work.  Don't let anyone (including yourself) fool you on that.  I have found that the women who say "it goes by so fast" only have 2 in diapers at a time.  When I am surrounded by people with incontinence issues 24/7 and I'm the only one who can clean it up, it sure doesn't seem to go by fast.

AmyJoy has some really good advice there.  I want to add one thing that has helped me even as my kids get older and help more.

Simplify the things that take your time & energy.  You will have to choose these areas yourself but for me it was meals.  I had HUGE problems making a breakfast and then a lunch and then a snack maybe and then supper for a bunch of kiddos that spill as much as they eat.  ACK!

So, even as I type this, my kids are having toast and apple juice.  Call me any morning of the week for the last 5+yrs (and the next 10+) and we will have had toast & apple juice for breakfast.  Before they could run it themselves, I even chose the toppings.  Everyone got toast with butter & peanut butter.  Everyday.  No one died and I didn't kill them cuz I was too frazzled after making bacon & eggs with OJ.  Simple and nutritious was the key and still is.

Lunch is leftovers and water.  Every day.  If I don't have leftovers to serve, we have sandwiches and a can of fruit or veggie.  PB&J and some pears counts.

Supper is the only meal I cook.  What is for supper?  Once a week it is oatmeal.  Once every other week it's pancakes.  Often we have "Stirred Omlets"  which is scrambled eggs with the omlet stuff stirred into it instead of the complicated fold & prep work of real omlets.  (and it's all mushed together by the time the 3yo gets it figured out anyway!)  Egg sandwiches are a real crowd pleaser here.   One dish meals with fruit as dessert is my favorite for these times.  Simple and reusable as leftovers is a must.

So, for me, once I discarded mealtime stresses, I had more brain to spare on the rest of life:  organizing, child care, training, laundry, smiling, laughing at myself.

[BJ_BOBBI_JO]

I got it bad right now too. I got "the burn out".

 At this point it seems that no training, deciplinging or anything else works. If it can go wrong it will.

My elderly parents are needy, my kids need schooled, my health is bad and there seems like there is no hope to fix it, my house is run down and either freezing or too hot, the lawn mower is broke so now we literally have a jungle in our yard, our much needed and used farm 4wheelers got stolen a few weeks ago, my body is rejecting my insulin pump tubing, my husband is gone working for 2-3 weeks at a time and then home for only 1-2 sometimes 3 days and gone again, everything keeps breaking down like the plumbing-electric-toilet-vehicle-computer-Tv-VCR- and a ton of other stuff. My pets and house has fleas for the 1st time ever and it is a bad infestation and nothing gets rid of them, some stuff helps tho. Im having to work at my parents house cleaning and stuff too. Im tired. Im burned out. I wanna sleep it all away.

But for whatever reason God has been piling tons of blesings on me this summer. God has been providing for my needs in a big way this year. I am so amazed at His blessings. So amazed at how other Christians have been used by God to bless me.Im so thankful. I just need some relief tho, a break. Some kind of nice relief. Pray me strong please. I am seriouslly tempted to stop homeschooling and put the kids back in public school, it would  so much easier.

Please just pray me strong.

Pray me strong.

Pray me strong for I am weak.

[denim&lace]

Praying now BJ

[provided4]

have to say I hit that bottomless pit of "hopelessness" today ( yesterday, the day before) (!) and then felt even worse that I admitted it to myself. I called on a few select friends to pray for me...and I know prayer works. We will come out on the other end better people for all these inconveniences...but I have to try really hard not to keep a tally in my head of all the "wrongs." Sometimes it comes down to cereal for dinner...and on those nights I can be thankful dh is out of town. So can he I'm sure!

[Homeschool_Newbie]

BJ... I have been praying for you since I read your post on the other thread... hang in there... I am still praying!

[MrsHope]

Sometimes it comes down to cereal for dinner...and on those nights I can be thankful dh is out of town. So can he I'm sure!

provided4,

Ha, that is exactly the thing I remember to be thankful for when my husband is out of town...that I don't have to make a big, cooked dinner. I usually try to keep it as simple as possible when it's just the children and I—all based around the idea that the less dishes I use, the less I'll have to wash and then I can actually have a little time to myself after they all go to bed! 

[provided4]

When I make pancakes or french toast or waffles I make triple and
quadruple recipes and freeze them. One big omelette cut in slices like a pie and reheated.
These things make breakfast easier.
As a matter of fact, my deep freezer has come to be my best friend.

[steadygirl]

   This thread reminds me of something that I was going through when my son was about a year and a half old and I had morning sickness with #2 .  He was a little terror.  He could not sit still! He did take naps though  ) which  I just spent sitting on the couch recovering from the times he was awake. He was also waking up 3 times a night. (tried the crying out thing but after 2-3 hours in the wee hours of the night I gave in. Just a wimp I guess ) My Husband spent most of the time in the office. I think he just couldn't handle being around our son and I don't blame him! He also didn't seem to feel much pain and you could swat him and swat and it didn't seem to make a dent in his tiny little head. Speaking of dents, he pulled an empty crock pot on his head and hardly cried. After the swelling went down and it started healing I realized that he had a small dent in his head! (and still does) So I just gave up and let him have the run of the place. ( not recommended) The only rules were no hitting Mommy, no climbing on the table, and no drawing on the walls.  Let's just say I was overwhelmed and depressed. My house was a mess.  I kept wishing I could just die suddenly of something mysterious or get hit by a truck.  I began to really be resentful toward my son.
   Finally, I decided it was time to hash things out with God. I turned my son loose in the basement, ( the safest place in the house), grabbed my Bible and prepared for some soul searching. I poured out my troubles to the Lord and asked myself a lot of questions. I turned to Ephesians 6 and read about the armor of God. I felt like Satan was battling for my mind and my armor was weak. I asked God to help me build my armor up with His Word. Every time I felt a negative thought coming I would remember that Satan was after my mind and I needed to fix the weak spot in my armor. I needed to realize that my attitude toward my son was sinful and it was my fault that it was there, not his.  I kept up constant communication with God.   I felt like I could live again, but I needed and still do need that constant contact with my Savior to do it.
To make a long story short, I started weaning my son and giving him a lot more solid food. ( he had never shown a lot of interest in it ) Almost as soon as I did this, he started sleeping through the night and over a couple months started to act more normal! I quit fretting that my #2 would be like him and she was not. She was so easy and smiley.  She was like  a balm to my soul and helped me love my son more.  My son responds to discipline now actually seems to feel pain. He loves to help me and is rarely bad tempered. (he actually was always pretty even tempered) He is still very active and can be a challenge, because he is so independent. I feel like this will be an asset for him as long as he can learn self-control with it. I had to make up for lost training time with him and am still working at it.
Oh, and now my husband loves to play with his two kids and is very good about helping- if I ask him. 
Most men are pretty good about helping if they get a few moments to relax first and you are very sweet about asking for it and he gets loving looks and attention for it. You just need to ask sometimes. (Honey, could you take the kids for a few minutes while I work on supper" or "I would really like to go to "insert whatever" this Saturday do you think you could take the kids for two hours?"  No guarantees here, but Mom always did say "You get more bees with honey than vinegar!" 

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