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February 07, 2012, 04:36:18 PM
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Author Topic: 18 Month old- temper tantrum  (Read 1141 times)
Lucky Scrunchy
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Posts: 121
« on: October 15, 2009, 04:42:07 PM »
My son gets VERY frustrated when he can't figure something out. For example if he cant get two plastic blocks to connect, he starts screaming bloody murder. He does this often when frustrated.

Should I be concerned?

My first son was a very meek child and would just move on if he couldn't figure something out. This child is the exact opposite.

I've love some advice.

Thanks to all.
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kamom
Adept

Posts: 392
« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2009, 08:29:01 AM »
  My oldest acted just like this. We would take issue with it, if he won't listen to calm down with a firm but gentle reminder, "No screaming. We do not scream when we can't do this or that." I would take furthur issue, make it counter productive, take the toy from him with an explaination of why. Also once he learned to talk,I would make him say what and act out what he should be doing and saying if he needs help with something. I would make him do it.
  With these methods he did get over it. I noticed a marked improvement once he learned to talk and could communicate his needs.  Please do not give up on this, pray for wisdom and God will give you ideas. You do not want an out of control, teen, who never learned how to control his emotions.
  We had an interesting episode a few month sago that made me feel so thankful and rewarded. DS had a very frusterating trial with a lego project and came to me for help.As I was trying to figure it out  he kept saying in a forceful, but calm way. "Mom, I am being very patient with you." Took a deep breath and said it again=)  Can you imagine the lego's flying if we had never dealt with this issue?
  Hope this is in some way helpful. I'm not the best at communicating through writing.
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denim&lace
Master

Posts: 1721
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2009, 09:34:14 AM »
Sign Language.

ASL video dictionary:
http://commtechlab.msu.edu/Sites/aslweb/browser.htm

Signing Time Videos:
http://www.signingtime.com/

Giving your little guy a way to communicate may really help you both in this area.  My husband and I are both strong personalities, and we parented our first three children without a plan for the first 7-8 years.  After we discovered NGJ and To Train Up a Child we made some adjustments and decided that we could actually enjoy parenting.  We decided to have a few more.  We now have a 22 month old that we trained from day one, and we taught her sign language from the time she was about a year old...  the difference in her compared to the other three at that age is phenomenal! 

I have a friend that knew us back then, and recently commented on the fact that Mo (our 22 month old) is so much better behaved than the others were.  She went on to say that she knows that it isn't just personality differences, because she has seen that Mo could easily be just as strong willed as the others were... but that the difference in training and communication had allowed her to learn better self control at a younger age. 

So agreeing with kamom... make every tantrum counterproductive and teach that little one to communicate as soon as possible.     
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Lucky Scrunchy
Adept

Posts: 121
« Reply #3 on: October 16, 2009, 01:32:14 PM »
Thank you both for the advice. And yes, I can imagine the legos flying (kind of made me chuckle as I read that).
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JesiRaine
Learning

Posts: 36



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« Reply #4 on: October 17, 2009, 08:17:48 AM »
I second the comment about the signing time videos.  With our third child, so many tantrums have stopped half way through because he remembered how to sign what he wanted.  My first child didn't really talk until he was three and a half, so we wanted to be able to communicate before words. 
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Suchender
Adept

Posts: 113
« Reply #5 on: November 13, 2009, 02:21:32 PM »
Quote from: denim&lace on October 16, 2009, 09:34:14 AM
Sign Language.

ASL video dictionary:
http://commtechlab.msu.edu/Sites/aslweb/browser.htm

Signing Time Videos:
http://www.signingtime.com/

Giving your little guy a way to communicate may really help you both in this area.  My husband and I are both strong personalities, and we parented our first three children without a plan for the first 7-8 years.  After we discovered NGJ and To Train Up a Child we made some adjustments and decided that we could actually enjoy parenting.  We decided to have a few more.  We now have a 22 month old that we trained from day one, and we taught her sign language from the time she was about a year old...  the difference in her compared to the other three at that age is phenomenal! 

I have a friend that knew us back then, and recently commented on the fact that Mo (our 22 month old) is so much better behaved than the others were.  She went on to say that she knows that it isn't just personality differences, because she has seen that Mo could easily be just as strong willed as the others were... but that the difference in training and communication had allowed her to learn better self control at a younger age. 

So agreeing with kamom... make every tantrum counterproductive and teach that little one to communicate as soon as possible.     





Thank you so much for sharing this.
I ordered Baby signing time and use it on all 3 children ages 5, 3 and 2. It really showed me that I really didn't communicate well with any of my children. Then I went back TTUAC and read the Tying strings chp and realized that I had cut all strings with my children (it's no wonder training has been so hard).  I feel like God has given me a new heart toward my children, so thanks again.
Suchender  
« Last Edit: November 13, 2009, 08:33:06 PM by Suchender » Logged
denim&lace
Master

Posts: 1721
« Reply #6 on: November 13, 2009, 03:18:16 PM »
YEA!  I'm so happy for you and your little ones, Suchender.   Smiley
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rejoicing
Adept

Posts: 366
« Reply #7 on: November 13, 2009, 04:12:52 PM »
To the OP I would recommend using the 3 step montessorri approach when introducing a new toy.  Lots of info online, but the super short summary is this...first you do it, then you walk them through it, third step is to encorage them to do it on their own.  It helps to reduce frustration with new playthings.
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