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[boysmama]

3 weeks for official paperwork to clear the system is normal in my experience. I do understand the tension until it actually comes through.  Lean on God.  Praying for you and the family.

[Monita]

Oh, man I am glad that is over!  I have been thinking and praying about this too and prayed from 4-430 your time.  The 3 weeks sounds about right considering it is a gvt agency.  

The great news is that your Dh has peace so you can/should put your fears to rest.   He has given you the direction in which he wants to lead you which is peace and faith. 

Blessings!

[herbalmom]

They have 30 days to finish their paperwork so 3 weeks just goes along with that.

Not sure why they took the pics.  My guess would be to document that they are proper weight & look healthy. 

As far as the permission to check medical records, personally I would have told them I would take them to the Dr & gotten a letter stating that they are healthy & they have proper medical care.  Don't stress over it though- I'm just mentioning it here for future reference for anyone else reading this in the future.

Sounds like it will be OK.

I take it that he's going to send you a letter stating the case is closed, etc? If you don't get it in 30 days, follow up on it. Blessings ~herbalmom

[Homeschool_Newbie]

Khix, thank you for the update I was praying. It sounds like things went pretty well. I will continue to keep this in my prayers.   Sounds like your family won't be seeing this uncle anymore. What a shame.

[denim&lace]

Yay!  I would consider this a positive outcome khix.

[CKSMOM]

Glad to hear it's over and seems positive.  Praise the Lord.  Will continue to pray for you, let us know when you get the letter. 

[khix]

Thank you, everyone, for the prayers & advice & help, and helping to ease my fears.  I know it's not quite over yet, but I feel a little better today.  Thanks also for saying that you think everything went well.

This is the HARDEST, most SCARIEST thing I have ever had to go through.  This tore at my very heart & soul.  I would not wish it on anybody.  I hate my uncle for causing me to go through this.  Now, I know that this did not take God by surprise and I'm sure He allowed it for a reason, but still, I'm furious with my uncle.  

My mother is furious as well...she wrote him a letter...

I am praying now for direction on whether or not to write a letter or to call him (to express how I feel, to make him see the pain & turmoil he caused, to ask him WHY he did this)....praying for direction because it may not be smart or safe to have any more contact with him ever.   Pray with me on this.

Sounds like your family won't be seeing this uncle anymore. What a shame.

No, we won't....but it's not a shame.  We only ever saw him on holidays, once a year, so it won't be a loss.  My kids are happy we'll never see him again.  The whole family always thought of him as strange & "out there" (and maybe even scary) & wouldn't care if they never saw him again either.   I had always stuck up for him, said he was harmless, but now I'm not so sure...

I have learned at least one thing......don't trust anyone!  Especially that eccentric relative of yours!  Oh, and - the less you say, the better!

[sohnnenstrahl]

Khix, when you said, "Oh, and - the less you say, the better!" I thought, Yeah, it's really getting to be that way, isn't it? God prepare us.

[Titus2woman]

So glad for your update~you were on my heart all day yesterday!!!  (((((HUGS)))))  sandi

[leighchamberlain]

Three weeks is totally typical, even fast. CPS paperwork moves sloooooooowlllllyyy.

As far as family/friend's names and numbers - if they have too, they'll call them and ask what kind of parents you are.

As long as you don't mind them seeing your kid's records, it's okay that you gave them. At most they might just check to see if the doctor made any notes about the children being malnourished/suprisingly thin.

Taking pictures of the kids was probably just as documentation that all the kids were healthy.

Considering you answered all his questions and he didn't check around the house and stuff, I'd think of it as a good sign. Again, he was probably wasn't too concerned because it was a scheduled investigation and it seems like he was just doing an obligatory check. I think you'll be totally okay. Don't be suprised if you don't hear anything until 30 days is nearly up - CPS really does move slowly because an investigation like yours is probably well over 4 hours of paperwork that needs to be written, then passed up and signed by various people. Doesn't sound like a whole lot, but when you have 35 other cases in the same week, it adds up.

Glad it seemed to go okay!

[khix]

Thanks, Leigh, and everyone else, for saying the signs point to everything being ok.  Because the more we think about it, the more we second guess ourselves....why did he ask certain questions?  Maybe we shouldn't have answered?  Since he KNEW he couldn't get us on the allegations, was he trying to get us on other trivial things?  Stuff like that.  But, we know God is in control, dh still has peace, and all of your posts & PM's are helping. 

Continue praying.....

Thanks!

[khix]

Two more questions (for future reference, just in case):

Is it ever smart or advisable to let the CPS caseworker know that you know who called them, to let them know the character of the person who called in, to show them "evidence", such as a letter or whatever?

We did not do that this time....should we have?

Also, is CPS required by law to visit a home, interview the parents, and/or interview the other kids before they can close out a case? 

The caseworker said over the phone he could see that the allegation was false after visiting with dd at school...so was he required by law to do what he did before he could close out our case?

[RunAmokFarm]

Hi Khix,

Been praying for you and your family... 

I think, personally, I would have probably showed the letter - explaining that your uncle has some "issues".  In my opinion, the letter he wrote to your mom, in which he suggested your dd come and live with your mom... or HIM... seem "odd", and the suggestion really put me ill at ease.  I think it would, likely, have given a case worker a moment's pause as well.  KWIM?

I think this situation will likely pass... and, at least not at this point, it sounds like the case worker is being upfront and really believes there are not any health issues with the children... however, if the investigation continues, or if your uncle persists in his accusations, I would definitely bring the other "evidence" to light, just so the case worker sees there is something subtly "off" about this man's interests.  (Not implying anything in particular, just that this feels "uncomfortable"...)
J

[denim&lace]

Two more questions (for future reference, just in case):

Is it ever smart or advisable to let the CPS caseworker know that you know who called them, to let them know the character of the person who called in, to show them "evidence", such as a letter or whatever?

We did not do that this time....should we have?

Also, is CPS required by law to visit a home, interview the parents, and/or interview the other kids before they can close out a case? 

The caseworker said over the phone he could see that the allegation was false after visiting with dd at school...so was he required by law to do what he did before he could close out our case?

I agree with RunAmok on the question about the evidence.  I think you are OK without using it at this time, but if the accusations persisted or the case was kept open for whatever reason, I would definitely provide the letter as well as your mom's letter to the caseworker.  (I would also do my bestest to make sure said uncle NEVER laid eyes on my daughter again!!!     )

And as far as what they are required by law to do, and what they do to cover their own behinds... I don't know for TX.  He may or may not have been required to do a home visit.  In all probability, he wasn't, yet chose to in order to keep himself out of trouble if your child ended up hospitalized or worse from starvation...  Those case workers have a lot of responsibility laid upon their shoulders.  They can literally be held accountable for manslaughter if a child that has been reported dies and they have not responded to the report with due diligence.  With those kinds of consequences being a possibility, they usually do everything as by the book as possible.     

[khix]

Thanks ladies!

And you're right....something is "off"...."uncomfortable"....that was the first thing that went through dh's mind when we got the letters.

[andiclare]

Praise God, I'm glad to hear the visit wasn't awful and this whole thing looks like it's going to be wrapped up very soon with no harm done. 

[BJ_BOBBI_JO]

khix--Im just now seeing this thread and I was praying as I read threw it. Im so glad things are going to be ok.

[denim&lace]

khix-about writing a letter or confronting the uncle.  If you haven't done anything with that yet, I would caution you to tread lightly. 

This past week while I was out shopping I was carrying our 5 mo on my back in the ergo.  As we were preparing to leave the (very crowded) store I slipped my jacket on over me and Batman and headed to the door when a man grabbed the handle of my cart.  He said to me "This isn't OK."  I looked at him as he glanced toward my back and I realized he was concerned about our boy and I smiled and said, "We do this all the time, sir, he is fine." and I began to walk away when he grabbed hold of the cart once again and waved a badge in my face and told me, "This is NOT ok with ME.  He could suffocate like that."

Now I have carried him for literally MILES on my back like this and I have checked this coat for breathability, and I KNOW he was fine but what do you do?  Stand up for your 'right' to carry a child as you wish and possibly have your name added to the CPS watchlist,  (when you know that they are already going to find your family suspect for things like homebirthing, not following the standard schedule for well baby checkups, and not immunizing..) or do you momentarily comply and carry on as usual when the fella walks away.  I sighed (I'm afraid I rolled my eyes) and asked him, "what would you have me do for the moment?"  He asked me to take him out and carry him on front or to support his head (this baby is sitting up on his own and almost crawling.    ).  So I took Batman out of the pack and the guy walked away.  Done deal. 

I have to tell you I was FUMING mad.  I haven't been so angry in years.  I wanted to call his superiors, write the editor of the newspaper, and cry from the rooftops just how ignorant and unqualified this man was!  And I'm afraid I wasn't as careful about keeping my conversation chaste when I told my husband about it either. (who was sitting outside the doors of the store about 30 steps and I would have been pulling Batman out of the pack and putting him in his carseat anyway!)  He *wisely* said we should call our friend, who also happens to carry a badge, before we made any decisions...  Our friend was paintballing with his wife and didn't answer his phone...  so then I prayed about it.     someday I'll learn to let that be my first response.  I hope.

This story that SC Lady told came to mind: http://www.7xsunday.net/forum/index.php/topic,25548.msg243171.html#msg243171   

I realized I had walked out of that store with my family intact and without giving a name or anything else to bring down bad things on my family.  I got my eggs... 

[khix]

Thanks, D&L, for sharing. 

I haven't done anything yet with writing a letter or calling.  I haven't had a pull or urge to do so.  It's not plaguing me.  I think God will let me know if and when He ever wants me to write a letter.  But, at this point, I'm at peace with not doing anything.  I just have a feeling that it wouldn't be smart at this point to make contact.

For those who are wondering, I haven't heard anything from CPS yet.  Still waiting on that "case-closed" letter in the mail.  It'll be 3 weeks on Monday.  I guess in this situation, no news is good news, right?  Pray that this will all be over soon & that I'll get that letter this week.

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