Although this question did not come from a sincere poster (see Gabe's sybermoms.com post) and at the risk of "casting pearls before swine" I think it does pose a couple viable questions:
"what if my husband is jealous with/without a cause?"My husband, who I love dearly, has been very aggressive with the kids and I lately. It has gotten worse over the past several weeks.
What was he like before? Why is he getting more aggressive?
You say that he
He has been accusing me of seeing other men.
Why is he making these accusations? Has he always been the jealous type? Is there anything in your behavior that would justify jealousy (not his actions, just his jealousy)?
So, since we don't know the facts, I will give two answers:
What if I am guilty of infidelity?(Numbers 5:20) In Bible times, a woman that was accused by her husband of undiscovered infidelity could be brought before the high priest. He would uncover her head, set her before the Lord, and give her water to drink that had dust from the floor of the tabernacle sprinkled in it. He would then lead her in taking an oath that she was innocent, and if not, that she would be cursed. If she was guilty, her inner thighs would begin to rot with disease and her belly would swell. She would not be able to bare children, and would be cursed among the people. God's judgement of this woman was much harsher than her husband's simple human jealousy. He is much more to be feared.
Now, I think the number of women that had actually committed adultery is relatively small. However, there is a HUGE number of what my husband calls "internet floozies" that spend a lot of time on the internet with other guys. Or (even among very conservative groups) women that just flirt with other men when opportunity knocks.
So, if you are A) guilty of infidelity or B) just a flirt... your husband feels the fact that he doesn't have your heart... that he isn't THE MAN for you. When Israel left God to follow after other gods... God called this "whoring" and was so angry that He describes His own wrath as "cannot be quenched."
In this case I recommend that you come to your husband in absolute repentance and humility and confess before him something along these lines (whatever your sin may be:)
"I confess I am a flirt, and that this is terribly wrong, and I ready to work on "being yours only." I want to be YOUR wife, and I want to please you. I pray that you can forgive me for being a flirt, and restore me as your wife... and gently help with this if I seem to be doing something that jeopardizes this."
If your husband is willing to let you stay, then praise God and commit yourself to becoming a "keeper at home" in both heart and actions. Ask God for grace... He is faithful to give it.
What if I am pure and my husband is jealous without a cause?In Numbers 5, if the woman who was sent to the High Priest because of her husband's jealousy was actually innocent then the "dust water" and swearing of the oath would have no effect on her, except, as I understand it, that her womb would now be open to bear children (if she was barren) and her husband would be silent toward her. God had justified her.
A woman that has committed herself to being a Keeper at Home in heart and body has enormous power with God, IMO. She is "the righteous are bold as a lion" and the one that God will defend. If you are pure before God then you can cry out to Him in absolute confidence and ask Him to justify you before your husband.
There is (IMO) place for a woman to leave a man that abuses her and the children simply because he is a mean godless man. However, leaving a mean and harsh man is not always the best move either in these times. It's tough out there for a woman. If your husband has any qualities of providing for you, and making place for you at all... then I'd recommend first asking God to stand on your behalf and make a way for you to stay married to this hard man. Your children are safer with a hard father (I don't mean an abusive one) than they are with no father.
Like Seige's story, and many others, God has done miracles for women who cry out to Him, and turn toward Him to walk in righteousness. God is good. He rewards the righteous. You may have the right to leave... and the duty to, so that is OK. But if you can make it work, count it all joy to stay if you can. If you stay close to God, He'll guide you in whether to stay or to go, and how to make it work if you stay.
In either caseThere is no point (that I can find in the Bible) in "standing up to your husband." Either stay, and figure out how to make it work, or leave and find a believing man.
Beka
