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[tnt]

I am in desperate need of some Godly council.

I am a stay at home mom that has been married for over 25 years..I have had 6 children ( 3 of them are still at home) I home school, and I have read CTBHH and love it.

To make a very long story short..We lived in WA state for 30 years...because of a series of circumstances that happened over the last 3 years my DH decided we should move to Tennessee.

We have lived here for almost a year and my DH has not worked..we have spent all of our savings and are in more debt then we have ever been in...we have had to borrow money...sell things..etc...to pay the bills
My DH wants me to get a job ( which means I have to put my children in public school) he has said that we are sinking and I need to pull us out of this...I really don't want to work...I don't feel like that is God's will for us...so that has caused allot of confusion and frustration for me.
I don't understand why God would tell me to stay at home in His word and then not provide away for me to do that..I have not worked for 20 years..and I am scared to death about this whole situation..I don't want to resent my DH for telling me to get a job and putting the pressure on me to pull us out of this mess.

I don't have any friends here..I feel all alone..and I feel like my faith is being stretched to a breaking point.
There is so much more to all of this..but for now I just wanted to tell the basics of the situation.
Please tell me what I should do...what would be the right thing to do...and please pray for my family.

[amy3js]

I don't want you to give too much information, so don't answer this if it's too much info or you can't for some reason, but, what does your husband do?   I know you said he hasn't worked, but do you mean he hasn't worked a conventional job (like he doesn't work for a company getting a paycheck, but he works for himself  in some way) or that he sits on the couch/at the computer/etc all day?

I am curious to see what others have to say. I have some thoughts, but I need to think about it before  responding. I will pray for you though.

[rainygladness]

Hi tnt~
It would be helpful to understand why your husband would tell YOU to pull your family out of this when you've not worked in so very long. 

Wouldn't any skill you might have had 20 years ago be quite outdated by now and therefore not be adequate? 

Why would your dh feel you had a greater ability to save the finances over his own? 
I think a little more information would help others in giving you fitting responses.


PS
There are a lot of other threads on provision here if you do a search.

[SC lady]

Moderator's Note:
Several discussion threads already exist on 7xSunday dealing with this topic:

What if a woman can't quit her job?

Advice for working wives

Wives Obey Your Husbands - Is there an exception?

When you KNOW hubby is wrong, mistaken, unconcerned . . . What's a wife to do?

Wives/Mothers Employed Outside the Home

For more information on searching for topics, refer to this link.
How Do I know if My Topic of Interest Already Exists?

If you are new to the forum or if you are unfamiliar with posting, profile changes and other navigation techniques, you should read this thread first:
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If you know of an additional existing thread which may be appropriate, please post its link in this thread so that the OP might be able to follow that link.

Thanks for understanding!
SC
[MODERATOREDITTHREAD]

[tnt]

To answer some questions...my DH was self-employed as a contractor for 20 years..I stayed home with the children, home-schooled and did the office work ( the books) for the business...I probably wasn't completely clear in my first post and left some important details out..I am very frustrated at the situation and I don't think I am thinking clearly...

My DH doesn't want me to have to work..we made a commitment years ago for me to stay home...he is in deperate mode right now and doens't know what else to do..the reason he thinks I would have a better chance finding work is because he has a learning disability that stems from a disease he had as a child and the complications of the medications he was on so he is limited in the kind of jobs he can get...I think he thinks that if I can get a job until something comes open for him or we can get our business up and running it would help...my fear is that it won't be temporary...that we will rely on the income and I won't be able to come home shortly...

I truly thought that because I have stayed at home with my children all these years..and have been obedient to my DH...and trusted him when he decided we should move that God would provide...I am not saying He won't, I was just hoping I would not have to work...I think I am just really confused and so is my DH.
I will go to those other posts and read through them and I am sure I will gain a better understanding of our situation...I hope I clarified some...Thanks for the response and the prayers

[SC lady]

To answer some questions...my DH was self-employed as a contractor for 20 years..I stayed home with the children, home-schooled and did the office work ( the books) for the business...I probably wasn't completely clear in my first post and left some important details out..I am very frustrated at the situation and I don't think I am thinking clearly...

My DH doesn't want me to have to work..we made a commitment years ago for me to stay home...he is in deperate mode right now and doens't know what else to do..the reason he thinks I would have a better chance finding work is because he has a learning disability that stems from a disease he had as a child and the complications of the medications he was on so he is limited in the kind of jobs he can get...I think he thinks that if I can get a job until something comes open for him or we can get our business up and running it would help...my fear is that it won't be temporary...that we will rely on the income and I won't be able to come home shortly...

I truly thought that because I have stayed at home with my children all these years..and have been obedient to my DH...and trusted him when he decided we should move that God would provide...I am not saying He won't, I was just hoping I would not have to work...I think I am just really confused and so is my DH.
I will go to those other posts and read through them and I am sure I will gain a better understanding of our situation...I hope I clarified some...Thanks for the response and the prayers

Thanks for posting tnt. 

Please look over the links provided and move the discussion to one of the existing threads on this topic. I've re-opened this thread so that others can post links they think might be helpful.

If you know of an additional existing thread which may be appropriate, please post its link in this thread so that the OP might be able to follow that link.

Thanks,
SC

[SC lady]

There has been a direct response to this thread on our Bible Teaching and Study Board in the Bible Discussion section.
It can be seen here:

WHEN HUSBAND REFUSES PROVISION

[ForeverGirl]

Well,
I couldn't figure out where to put this, so it's going here for now...

This will sound a little short, I'm afraid, but I'm going to say it anyway  I do not wish to assume that the OP is not pulling her share... it may very well be that you are working your hiney off, tnt...  However these thoughts came to my mind while reading this thread and I wanted to put them down because they will apply to someone out there...


IMO, there is a big difference between a Stay at Home Mom and a Sit at Home Mom.

This is a Stay at Home Mom:

Pro 31:10       Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price [is] far above rubies.
Pro 31:11      The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
Pro 31:12      She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Pro 31:13      She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
Pro 31:14      She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
Pro 31:15      She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
Pro 31:16      She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
Pro 31:17      She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
Pro 31:18      She perceiveth that her merchandise [is] good: her candle goeth not out by night.
Pro 31:19      She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
Pro 31:20      She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
Pro 31:21      She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household [are] clothed with scarlet.
Pro 31:22      She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing [is] silk and purple.
Pro 31:23      Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
Pro 31:24      She maketh fine linen, and selleth [it]; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
Pro 31:25      Strength and honour [are] her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
Pro 31:26      She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue [is] the law of kindness.
Pro 31:27      She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Pro 31:28      Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband [also], and he praiseth her.
Pro 31:29      Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
Pro 31:30      Favour [is] deceitful, and beauty [is] vain: [but] a woman [that] feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
Pro 31:31      Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

From my understanding of this passage the Virtuous Woman is known for her multiple ways of bringing in an income while still being a Keeper at Home. She makes him wealthier than he would have been without her!

I think it is obvious when a man is a lazy slacker... his history will betray him. But a man that has supported a family for many years, and then runs out of work, and get's desperate for some help from his helper... this is not a lazy man. I believe that God will provide a way for a woman in this situation to be this man's helper financially without leaving the home.

We have been through some hard times, and so have many of the women on this board.

For a couple of years I sold home made cookies and made enough of an income to buy all of our groceries. This was in a very tiny kitchen, and without a vehicle. I had more demand than I had ability to deliver, and my husband sometimes made the comment, "well, we can always go into the cookie business full time..." 

Other things I've had the opportunity to do (and would have done very well) but have foregone in lieu of being my husband's helper here on 7xs are;

Teaching regular seminars on herbs and selling tinctures, teas
Writing for various magazines
Babysitting
House cleaning for others
Making old fashioned girl's clothing for a local retailer
Recording and selling music.
Making all types of how-to videos.

Some moms I know teach music in their home. Others live far out in the country and deliver baked goods to small restaurants.
One lady began to compile bulk food orders for everyone in her community, and the companies she ordered from gave her a percentage of everything she sold. Her customers also were asked to pay a small amount or "tip" with some amount of the food they ordered. Her husband eventually had to help out because the business grew so much. He ended up building a website for the business and now they both work together out of the house doing the bulk food business during the winter months when contracting is slow.

I'm sure other ladies on this site can give other ideas and direct you to other threads where ideas are thrown around.

In conclusion, I believe you should: Be your husband's helper (even financially) within your biblical context and pray like crazy that God will bless him!

[tnt]

I hope this is ok for me to reply...I just wanted to say Thank You for the links, they were very helpful...and say thank you to forevergirl...for your comments and ideas..that was very helpful...my dh is not lazy at all..he has provided for our family for many years and I so appreciate him..we have just faced some very hard things lately...and as I said in my earlier post, I have no friends here, so its really nice to get some perspective from Godly women..Thank again

[Siege]

tnt, I am in a very similar situation. I may have to find a part time job for a bit to help out. Dh works all the time, but between customers not paying and breakdowns, not to mention mistakes on bidding and subcontractors' not finishing on time...well, the ends still don't meet.

Right now I am going through stuff in my house and downsizing what I don't use. I am on the second round of downsizing to what we NEED. I am planning on listing some stuff on Craigslist and eBay. Some other ladies and I are looking into renting a place and doing a "cabin fever" rummage sale. If these can help us hang on 'til more work, then I won't have to find a part time job.

We are in a situation where if I get a job, the boys can all go to work with my dh. They do this often, taking turns, or if I have an appointment they cannot come to (Dr appt, hair appt, helping a sick friend, etc).

I will be praying you can find a way to help, without compromising either of your convictions. CJ

[Beth]

What about selling bedding plants, like annuals (flowers) or veggie plants. Around here gardens are a big thing. In fact just growing a big garden can be a large financial help.    I know that is not an immediate help but you could use it for future reference.   

[Beth]

I recently read a book called "growing profits how to start and operate a backyard nursery".   It was very interesting. Might be helpful for anyone interested in supplementing their income. He says it is possible to grow over 5000 dollars worth of plants in only 1000 sq ft. Could be a family business. One could involve the kids. Great homeschool project.

[andiclare]

Also tnt, this may or may not help you...But in my marriage we've made a similar commitment that I will be a full-time stay-at-home wife, mother and homemaker and my husband will bring in the income. However, we acknowledge that there might come a time where, in dire straits, I may need to bring in an income of some kind. My only real no-go on this plan is working outside the home full time. As in 40 or more hours a week. I'm not going to do that, and my husband agrees. But if absolutely necessary, he wouldn't mind me taking on a part-time job to help out.

I just wanted to throw that out there, that IMO there's a big difference between full-time and part-time work and I'm wondering if maybe it would help your anxiety a bit if part-time work, instead of full-time, were an option. Again, it's totally up to you and your husband, under his leadership. Just putting the idea out there in case y'all haven't thought of it.

[Gabriel Anast]

Other ideas for stay at home mom work:

1) Run a bulk foods coop. Find good sources of grains, nuts, oils, etc and place ads in the local penny saver newspapers. Get people to order their bulk foods through you. They pay up front, you charge a small / reasonable handling fee. Google, "bulk foods"

2) Make and sell coffins. Heh. Its weird, I know, but it is a brilliant idea that John (basething) had. Especially if you have older kids... coffins are relatively easy to make, and are an item that people really care about. To have a hand crafted coffin can be amazingly comforting at a time of hardship. Also it allows you (one that loves and knows God) to enter people's lives where they are most looking for those answers. Again, you can advertise in the penny saver newspaper in your area.

3) Baked goods... this has already been mentioned. It is a great idea.

4) Clothing repair or creation. My sister used to make these really fantastic skirts when she was in high school. They were sort of Vera Bradly (yeah... long before Vera Bradley), long but sexy and pretty and very popular (I am not necessarily recommending that specific approach, just telling the story). Because she was known as a seamstress, she got a lot of repair work as well. I am pretty sure she could have started her own dress shop then and there... but dad thought high school was more important.

--gabe

(sorry, forgot this was Sarah's Daughters...)

[tnt]

I guess my question at this point is two fold...my dh was a contractor in WA state for 20 years he is not lazy and has always provided for our family.we moved to TN because our dream was to own property so we could have a mini farm and learn to be more self sufficient, and the market is so much cheaper in Tn then in WA. there is no way we could afford to buy property in WA..but it was doable in TN...moving has been so hard because it means starting over in this economy that is not contractor friendly...I left the decision to my dh to move...trusting that God would provide no matter where we live because of our faithfullness to his word..meaning  obedience to my dh..and the commitment to be a keeper at home...things have not worked out that way...life has been such a struggle...my dh has had a very hard time finding work...because he has been self employed for 20 years...we are in so much debt...and we don't want our credit to get ruined because we bought our house on a private contract and we are afraid we won't be able to refinance and pay off our debt if our credit goes bad...my dh just started working, but he is not making enough money to pay the regular bills, not including the debt...

My questions are: Did my dh make a big mistake in moving here...and that's why we are struggling so much?
If Gods word tells me to be a keeper at home so I don't blaspheme the word of God..and I am walking in obedience...why is he not providing a way for me to stay at home..how do I obey my dh and obey God at the same time?
He (my dh) wants me to get a job, outside the home...I have been praying for God to provide something I can do at home...or something part time at night...
I am tired of struggling with this...I have been bitter, and resentful, and confused towards God and my dh...I have prayed and asked God for forgiveness for this..I will do whatever God wants me to do...He is in control of this situation

[Beth]

      Your situation sounds so familiar. About 6 yrs ago we moved from MT to Tn. For some of the same reasons. There were others. But high property prices were definately one of reasons. We also had some serious financial problems. We had to change some things. We still  are. My husband decided that we needed to sell our house. Too much debt. So just two years after moving here we put it on the market. We fixed it up the  best we could afford to and actually sold it for more than we paid. We kept a couple of acres instead of selling it with the property. We paid off the  man that we had a land contract with. There was some left to get started on building a house with. So we rented for a while and got a small loan to get the house dried in. Then... here is the scary part ::)we moved in.  This was a completely unfinished house. It was hard!! It still is not finished but it is  much closer.
     The point is it took drastic steps to get rid of that debt. We still have some struggles but nothing compared to a mortgage and a land contract, with the owner just waiting to be able to take it all back. ( along with the large down we paid.) Our plan is to finish the house to the best of our ability and sell it so the next place will be completely debt free. Its a good plan anyway, and we'll see. It has been hard and I'm not sure I would recommend it to the faint of heart. But then you said you were desperate and would do whatever it took. I'm not saying you should or even could do exactly that but maybe there is some way you could dump your debt load to a more acceptable level. It will probably mean seriously changing  things and doing without what you are used to having. But how bad do you want to stay at home with your kids? It could all be a big adventure...New things are always exciting if we make them.
      You mentioned that  maybe it just wasn't God's will and thats why things weren't working out. When we were going through all of this my husband used to say just because things are hard does not mean it isn't God's will. In fact sometimes God's will is hard to do. I would not second guess your husbands decision to move. I would just do everything I could to make it work. And above all pray!!!
 

[freshisbest]

...moving has been so hard because it means starting over in this economy that is not contractor friendly...I left the decision to my dh to move...trusting that God would provide no matter where we live because of our faithfullness to his word..meaning  obedience to my dh..and the commitment to be a keeper at home...things have not worked out that way...

for me either! Same situation ... and I have been tempted at times to "doubt." But I would explore that word in the concordance and see what God has to say about it. I've been encouraged by many here to keep my eyes on serving my dh (serving The Lord) and not on the decisions & the consequences of those decisions.  Just because in Sept. we decide to fully surrender to Gods (and our dh's ) will does not mean that deliverence and restitution will come in October. I would say to myself take your eyes off the clock and the calender and the checkbook  and look to Jesus who will be my comfort before He is my deliverer.
When my dh would mention my working I had to understand he could have been 'testing the water' and was probably questioning the decision as much as I was. When an opportunity arose for me to work it was ok with both of us and didn't interfere at all with my keeping my own home. When I am not working thats ok too.

My questions are: Did my dh make a big mistake in moving here...and that's why we are struggling?

What difference does it make now? Its done. I needed to keep my eyes in front of me not behind.

so I don't blaspheme the word of God..and I am walking in obedience...why is he not providing a way for me to stay at home..how do I obey my dh and obey God at the same time?

 I wonder the same thing...but I'm not sure he 'rewards' obedience in the way we want him to. And why should he? I wrestle with that too.

I am tired of struggling with this...I have been bitter, and resentful, and confused towards God and my dh...I have prayed and asked God for forgiveness for this..I will do whatever God wants me to do...He is in control of this situation

When I wore myself out - I stopped struggling !
The sooner I got to the place of surrender the better.

[ladyhen]

Just throwing out more ideas for work that may be appropriate for you. 
Due to a couple of factors, my ambitious Man has only been able to find part-time work the past few years.  He came home last year with a job offer for me that has 'fit' our family and beliefs quite well.  I do home care for a couple of hours in the afternoon for an elderly lady with Alzheimers.   Doesn't put me under another man's authority and I am able to bring children along, if needed. 
 There is, it seems, a tremendous need in most areas of the country for home care of some sort.   I was told of a small business that is run by a woman who advertises herself as a 'For hire assistant & chauffeur' and does shopping, drives to appointments, delivers meals, or whatever else she chooses to contract for.  She is paid for her time and availability. 

[freshisbest]

Heb 11:6 ....when I sought God and wondered how I should work and if I should, opportunities arose. It started with my approaching dh first with a suggestion or idea and if it sat well with him I proceeded. Sometimes things didn't pan out and sometimes they did, for a season. It starts with your dh and has to be ok with him . That being said, if you have a willing heart and go find employment it may just be your dh that one day makes you quit and you'd have to be just as willing to do that.

[Leah IL]

If my husband told me to go get a job, I would go get one.  My command from God is to obey my husband. 

I would not cease to be a keeper at home, however.  I would work and still fulfill my duties at home.  Certainly that would not blaspheme the word of God but honor it.

I think my husband would be very unhappy with me if he told me to go get a job and I kept coming to him with ways to start a home business.  Starting a business COSTS money.  I also think he would take it to mean I did not want to obey him, that I was looking for a way around his will. 

I would respectfully let him know my desire is to be at home but that I trust him to make the right decisions for our family.  Then I would diligently begin job searching.

I think the in home care idea is a great one!!  What a way to serve others and still obey your husband.

[Beth]

   Starting some businesses cost money. Not necessarily all.  A wife going to work often costs money too. Gas, better clothes, daycare sometimes it means getting a second car if you don't already have one. While this is not always true, it also is not always true starting a home business costs money. It really depends. I think most of the ideas mentioned here would not have to cost much.
   I wonder would it be possible, to work at something part time while you seriously begin to  pursue one of these home business ideas. Take it seriously yet find ways to economize. Gardens don't have to cost that much. 5 tomatoe plants in a small raised bed will produce an amazing amount of tomatoes. A back yard is all that is needed. Selling potted flowers doesn't take much. A few seeds and plastic containers that can often be found used at your local greenhouse for free or very cheaply. The library is full of gardening books. Hone your skills teach your children. Gardening is a money saving project and fast becoming a lost art.
    Dropping your debt load would be very important. Make hard choices. Can I sell the mini van with a 200 a month payment and pay cash for an older one?  Could we sell our house and buy a cheaper one? Shop the bent and dent stores for groceries. Shop at Goodwill and thrift stores for clothes. Don't go out to dinner. If you just need a night a week with no cooking. Learn to freeze casseroles ahead. Do simple things like turn lights out. Hang your laundry on the line instead of using the dryer. Turn the thermastat down and wear a sweater. See if your husband is interested in a wood stove. Start looking for one this summer when they are really cheap. Let your neighbors know and you might be amazed how many need some pruning done and even trees removed. Free firewood.
      If your husband sees you putting forth all this effort you might be amazed what could happen.

[joychild24seven]

If my husband told me to go get a job, I would go get one.  My command from God is to obey my husband. 

In my opinion, it is impossible to "reverence" my husband while continually looking for ways to circumvent what he has asked me to do. If my husband asked me to find a job, I would pray for a cheerful and willing heart, and then ask for specifics:

How many hours are you willing that I work?
What is the minimum salary/wage that you would want me to accept.
What work situations would be acceptable to you?
Do you feel it's necessary to put our children in public school or do you see another option?
How much income needs to be brought in weekly/monthly to meet our needs?

I would also honestly let him know my own limits and needs in a trusting and respectful way:
Because I'll be out of the home XX hours a week, we might have to have more simple or repetitive meals.
I feel like I won't be able to get everything done being gone that much, are there any tasks our children can do to help lighten the load while I'm out of the house?
I'm scared, I don't understand this situation, but I trust you to lead us through this.

Then I would seek to do his will, trusting that his interpretation of the circumstances is God's leading in my life. I would pray that God would make a way, lead my husbands steps and my own. I would pray for the specific amount of provision that my husband said we needed. I would seek outside employment, and eventually, with my husband's approval, I would seek to transition to a home based source of income.

Much of what I have written above I've lived out this last year. I started my own cleaning business before marrying my husband was even a thought, so I brought that (small) source of income into our marriage. When my husband lost his very secure and well paying job last spring, we started on a great adventure of working out the details. It was terrifying. I worked most of the summer as the only wage earner, running my own business, and worked alongside my husband to start his own business. When I found out in September that I was pregnant, everything changed again. I started searching for ways to make income primarily from home. I took some of my capital/profits from the cleaning business, and have bought inventory and started an ebay store. I was planning on selling the cleaning business, but under my husband's direction I am keeping it, hiring employees, and will be earning income from that as well as I do all of the home-based aspects of that business.

I read Proverbs 31 and I want to live that in my life. But literally spinning wool or flax is not a skill I have right now. I am capable of sewing, but not good at it, and definitely not skilled enough to sell anything! Someday I may purchase some real estate or rental property for residual income, but I obviously don't have the cash for that right now. Wisconsin is not the ideal place for vineards, and I'm just learning gardening to provide our own organic produce in the summer.

But, I am skilled at communication and marketing. I can organize, run, and market my cleaning business effectively. I'm great at researching and very knowledgeable about the proper "green" and natural cleaning options for different situations. I'm great at finding deals at stores and auctions, and proficient enough with a computer to run a website, do well with ebay, etc. These skills are my "merchandise" and I  not only offer them to the merchants, but I use them to help my husband as well. But, it's not easy running your own business from home, it took me over 2 years to make the cleaning business truly profitable, and I expect it will take time to make the ebay business profitable as well. In a situation where money was needed more immediately, I would not hesitate to work outside of the home for a season.

No matter how you slice it, situations like this stretch us, challenge our world views. But it is important to me that my husband is sure that I trust him to lead us, that I am confident in his decision making skills, and that I will do anything I can to be his helpmeet. And God has used that to increase my husband's confidence, and God has provided for all of our needs, even if it was in a way that didn't fit a particular mold. And I am a good keeper at home, even if I'm not superwoman!

[Beth]

    This subject has been on my mind and I would like present an observation. This is in no way an implied accusation to the OP or anyone else. Just something I have watched happen in more than one case.
    Sometimes when a man begins to have problems providing for his family, due to unemployment or the economy. The problem can be traced to debt. And sometimes the debt can be traced to a wifes lack of contentment. Stay with me for just a moment.
  I have watched a growing trend. This trend goes something like this. We need a vehicle. True, we all do. But...do we need that mini-van with the 22o dollar a month payment. And then we have to have full coverage insurance. Often the husband needs a work vehicle and that means two payments.
   We need a place to live. True. But do we need that split level house in the suburbs? With the two car garage, to park our new mini van in.
    The fridge breaks down. We do need a new fridge. But do we need the brand new one for 1500 dollars? We put it on our credit card and make monthly payments.
    I'm sure you get my idea. Do we really "need" those things? Couldn't we drive an older model vehicle? Or even do without a second car for a season if the need arose? What about that fixer upper house for much less money? Or what about buying a used modular home? Fridges can be found at used appliance stores or in the penny saver paper. We can  dress our children from garage sales and thrift stores. We can furnish our houses in the same way. Discount grocery stores can save us many pennies.
     The trend I see is everyone wants everything nice and new and they want it now. Someone once said "don't try to get today what it took your parents 30 years to achieve".
So often when I see women going back to work it is simply to maintain the lifestyle they feel they need. They are unwilling to do without a certain standard of living. And so they say" my husband needs me to help him out." When, so often if they could just learn to lower their expectations of how they "need" to live...What a burden you could lift off your husband. Are you willing??

[amy3js]

Well when I first read your post, the first thing I thought of was that my husband has told me that if he ever tells me to get a job, he has essentially put me away and I should leave him.      However, I do bring money into our home quite frequently, through various means, such as housecleaning , selling on ebay, babysitting for a couple ladies, and I am learning to sew and knit and hope to sell handmade things someday when I have perfected those skills a bit.  So if I were in your shoes, I would probably look for ways around me to make some money in the Proverbs 31 vain. I would look at my skills as a homemaker and find a way to use those to create money while being at home. I liked Beka's post, there are many ways to financially help our husbands without the conventional job and paycheck, it's just a new way at looking at income and sometimes it is hard (for me at least) to see those ways at first since I have been trained by society to see sources of income in a very narrow way. I have been praying for you guys and I hope that things look up soon! 

[Monita]

I have some ideas for work from home jobs.  If you know how to sew...offer classes from home.  If you are near a military base they always need alterations, patches sewn on, embroidery, engraving and cakes for various ceremonies.

[mammame]

Are you skilled at cake decorating? I make custom cakes and they can bring in a lot of money! There is, of course, start up costs but for under 100.00 you can get a decent set of square and round pans, food coloring, and the materials you need. You can even start with boxed cakes until you have the funds to make the cakes from scratch (assuming you get the boxed cakes on a really good sale with coupons, it is cheaper to make a cake that way). I advertise on Craigslist in the events and creative sections and won't even turn my oven on for less than a 60.00 cake! You'd be amazed at how much people are willing to pay for a birthday cake!!! Me, I'd never pay that much, but I'm learning to take advantage of what other people choose to do with their money

Good luck! And remember that God sends us all through trials for a reason

[tnt]

I really like all the ideas everybody has posted..they have given me allot to think about...

at this point my husband needs (wants) me to get a job..we are going to lose our house if we don't make the payment on it and he wants some income now...he is working a job...but it doesn't pay enough to pay the bills..I am willing to obey my husband..but I am praying for something at night so I can be at home with my children during the day.

I believe a "keeper at home" is just what it says "at home" being at home is more to me than just the home duties..its my responsibility to watch the home front, and protect the home front..its my post.

I feel like my dh is defaulting to what society believes..and that is when the going gets tough..the wife gets a job..I feel like we are going to take the long way around something special God wants to do for us if we (he) was willing to obey His word and our commitment for me to stay at home..he  is desperate and he is acting out of desperation..not obedience..but I am willing to do whatever I need to do and I am trusting God to take care of the situation.

I really liked allot of the ideas and am hoping to use some of those ideas for the future when hopefully things are better and my dh feels more comfortable with me bringing some income in from home...I really liked the cake decorating idea and was wondering where you go to get training, or become skilled at that?

Thanks for everyone's prayers and ideas...they have helped so much

[provided4]

Sometimes you can find decorating tips and kits at the thrift store or on Ebay. Then just practice with some stiff 10x sugar and water and egg white frosting....once you are good at it I wonder if the bakery depts at grocery stores hire for the off hours like evenings. I would definately put your plan on paper first...find an ad for a potential job, " do the math" , write  down the cost vs. benefits so you and DH can go over it. I found living a frugal lifestyle (  I kept track of what I saved w/ coupons and  buying at thrift stores and NOT buying/spending ) and staying home looked like I was earning on paper because I wasn't spending. I had dollar figures to prove it.

[Beth]

     you could probably find books on cake decorating at the library. Google cake decorating and amazon and you might come up with some good titles. If your library doesn't carry them get an inter library loan. I've got to read a lot  of good books that way.
     Ask at cake stores if they know of anyone giving cake decorating classes. Those were popular for a while. You could practice on your family! They would enjoy that I'm sure.  
     I had a friend who made and sold cakes. She really did make money. People do pay alot for a cake. When you got really good you could make wedding cakes. People pay even more for those! We had a friend make our son's cake for their wedding.  All she charged was the ingredients and the price of some special pans she needed. That is how she was getting her equipment. Making cakes for the price of a pan. The ingredients aren't expensive. It was a beautiful cake.
      The idea of working in a bakery was good. It could give you some experience. Praying for you.

[amy3js]

I know of 3 craft stores near me that all offer cake decorating classes. The fee is usually small (like $25) but you have to have their list of supplies. I have slowly practiced and built up my supplies by making birthday cakes for various family members every year. And I even did my brothers wedding cake last summer! I google tips for different things every time I begin a new cake and youtube has lots of info on cake decorating. I have also checked out every book in my library about decorating and they were very informative.  I have an aunt who learned cake decorating while working in a grocery store bakery (not saying you should do this, just that you don't need a "degree" or whatnot from a culinary school to be very good).  She is really good, she made my wedding cake and I was shocked- it was more beautiful than any of the ones I had looked at paying hundreds of dollars for.

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