I am looking for some godly wisdom from some of you ladies. This is not something I feel like talking to anyone close to me about and I know from reading many posts on here that you will tell me the truth(even if it's not exactly what I want to hear!
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But I do want the truth...
My husband and I are both Christians. We've been married for about 10 years and have 4 small children.
For starters, my husband has never had much of a s*xual "drive". Mine has always been much higher than his, but over the course of our marriage I've kinda just dealt with it. We have talked about it, but it doesn't really seem to bother him that we are so different in this area. So, I just deal with it.
A while back my husband came to me and admitted to looking at innapropriate pics. online. (just pics. and they were prob. mild compared to what's out there) I'm not defending it at all, just don't want to give the idea that it was worse than what it truly was.
I was so devastated. I felt worthless and like something must be wrong with me to make him do this stuff. Especially since he didn't seem to be too interested in me that often. I know now that this is not the truth, but it's still very hard to believe in my heart.
Since then, we have taken important steps to make sure that it doesn't happen again. And I feel very certain that it's not. He was very broken and sorry for what he had done.
But, since that happened, I am overly cautious when he is around other women. At church when he is talking to a woman, I wonder what he is thinking. When he tells me about a conversation he had at work with a woman, I start wondering if that was truly all that was said or what he was thinking when he was talking to her. I can't keep living like this. I know I'm driving myself crazy and him as well. How do I get past this? Especially when he still doesn't seem that interested in me? He says he is, but there really isn't much proof.
What do I do? Is this normal? Am I just being too emotional over the whole thing?
I love my husband more than you can imagine and he is a great husband and father and I want us to have the beautiful happy marriage that God intended, but what do I do now?
