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February 09, 2012, 02:02:42 AM
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Author Topic: Our daughters - Keepers at home?  (Read 1189 times)
Rene
Adept

Posts: 112
« on: February 25, 2010, 07:44:27 AM »
I just read Rebekah's excellent post on the wife being a keeper at home from this thread:
http://www.7xsunday.net/forum/index.php/topic,25746.msg245447.html#msg245447

I wanted to ask about how we should be raising our daughters in light of this.  I know that the passage is speaking to married women, but is it fine for our daughters to get a job outside the home working for a male boss, or even a female boss?  Should we raise them to be creative and earn money while still being in the home and discourage them from finding employment outside the home?

One reason I ask this is because we are great friends with the elderly woman who owns the health food store where we buy supplements, herbs, etc, and she loves our girls, who are ages 12, 9, and 7, and she has said that when they are old enough they can come to work for her.  My girls like the idea and mention it from time to time.  I have a friend who believes that daughters should stay in the home, serving their father, until they are married and then will serve their husband.   I feel that, with my oldest being nearly 13, I need to be training my girls in the right direction in regards to what life should be like for them when they are adults but unmarried. 
« Last Edit: February 25, 2010, 07:55:01 AM by Rene » Logged
Amy Joy
Moderator
Adept

Posts: 398
« Reply #1 on: February 25, 2010, 11:06:14 AM »
Your question made me remember a moment years ago when my daughter expressed a desire to earn money.  Shortly before this time, my husband noticed her natural bent and her interest in the field he works in.  So, he made place for her to work alongside him. 

She loves it!!  Today, as a young adult woman, she earns a very good income managing his office and working with him from our home.  My husband anticipates that, at some point in the near future, she may begin traveling with him on business trips. Her skills are increasing and he has need of a qualified and professional assistant to help him on client visits and as he teaches continuing education seminars in his field. After she marries, she would be able to do this type of work from her own home, too, if she and her husband thought it good.

So, for those who desire it or take the scriptures to command it, I believe there are creative ways for daughters to earn a good income without being sent out to work for another man or boss... ways that are stimulating and fulfilling to her own mind and interests, and that are according to her own talents and disposition. 
« Last Edit: November 10, 2011, 03:16:43 AM by Amy Joy » Logged
pinkmonkey
Learning

Posts: 5
« Reply #2 on: February 25, 2010, 11:42:04 AM »
Even when my husband was out of work for over 5 months he did not want me to get a job.  He was getting unemployment to be sure and I don't know what he would have said had that run out.

 My daughters and I earn money from home.  We have delveloped two business that we can manage by ourselves (the work I mean).  We also have other ways to make money.  For instance this year we are growing organic seedlings to sell at the farmers market.  We will plant a big garden as well, we will can and preserve much of it and some will be sold.  We can actually earn a significant amount on our garden produce. 

We live by a hiway and we just put a sign out front and the produce on the porch with a money bag (which we empty often).  Folks around here love fresh homegrown produce and we made over $800.00 the first year just by putting porduce on the porch. 

Next week our baby chicks will arrive and in a few months will be laying eggs to sell.  These are also a good way to make some extra money.
I make and sell home made lye soap using recycled oil and that sells well too.

There are many ways to earn some extra income and to keep busy. 
My 15 year old does childcare in our home for one lady.  She is able to get her homeschool done as well. 
« Last Edit: February 25, 2010, 11:46:06 AM by pinkmonkey » Logged
denim&lace
Master

Posts: 1721
« Reply #3 on: February 25, 2010, 02:35:53 PM »
The aged women (you & me in this case) likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

That they(you & me, the aged women) may teach the young women (our daughters) to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Titus 2: 3-5
emphasis and comments in parentheses are mine

Can we teach our daughters to be keepers at home by allowing them to work and observe other women working outside the home?  Are we turning over authority to another by allowing them to go outside the home to gain experience, knowledge and usable skills while working for somebody else? 

Our daughter wants to be a holistic veterinarian when she is grown, which will mean a lot of her working for other people(bosses as her authority), going to college (professors & deans as authorities), and being exposed to a lot of women who may make working outside the home look easy and normal.  Now, our daughter's goal is to own and run a vet clinic from her home so she can include her children in her work and still be a keeper at home.  That is a wonderful goal, in our opinion.  But how are we going to deal with the  influences between now and achieving the goal?  I think that is an important thing to be thinking about.  We've had a small taste of it, with her volunteering at a emergency vet clinic near our house.  This is how we have approached it. 

First, we have established a purpose for the experience.   She is going there to get an idea about if she really wants to be a veterinarian, to get experience that will be important for getting into vet school, and to possibly work toward getting a job as a vet tech when one comes available.

Second we established goals.  The goal is for her to get a vet degree so she can open her own shop at her home and work from/at home.   These were her ideas before we encouraged her to volunteer.  We established them as goals before we allowed her to volunteer. 

Third, we keep very close tabs on her.  We go in and get a feel for the people that work when she is there.  We talk to her about her experience there.  How do the people talk?  What do they talk about?  What is she learning?  Who does she spend the most time with when she is there?   

Fourth, we talk about how working there affects the women who are employed there.  How many are divorced?  How many have kids and who is raising their kids while they work?  How do they 'keep' their homes being away from home all day?  What kind of meals do they eat, healthy whole foods or fast food or pre-packaged microwave meals?  How will this affect their health?  Who does she think the women's husbands spend time with while the women are working?  What does she think about that?       

And last, but most important, we pray.  We pray for wisdom to train her up in the way that she should go.  And we pray for her future.  We pray with her for the people who work where she volunteers.  We pray for God to guide her and protect her while she is there.   

So far this has worked for our family.  I can't tell ya how it will end up, that's a few years down the road for us.  I do know that regardless of the circumstances, we are all under indirect authority of others, regardless of who we consider to be our head.  I know that a police officer has authority to give me a ticket, a property owner has the authority to ask me to conduct myself a certain way while on their property, and a business owner has the authority to accept certain methods of payment...  my daughters boss has the authority to ask her to clean up dog barf, and her professors will have the authority to give her bad grades if she doesn't complete her lessons.  But their authority is subject to my husbands authority to remove our daughter from the job or school, just as he can ask me to not drive, not visit that property, or to shop somewhere else.

Just to give you an idea from our experience.           
« Last Edit: February 25, 2010, 02:42:44 PM by denim&lace » Logged
Beth
Master

Posts: 941


~Charity never fails~
« Reply #4 on: February 26, 2010, 04:31:56 AM »
Quote from: pinkmonkey on February 25, 2010, 11:42:04 AM
Even when my husband was out of work for over 5 months he did not want me to get a job.  He was getting unemployment to be sure and I don't know what he would have said had that run out.

 My daughters and I earn money from home.  We have delveloped two business that we can manage by ourselves (the work I mean).  We also have other ways to make money.  For instance this year we are growing organic seedlings to sell at the farmers market.  We will plant a big garden as well, we will can and preserve much of it and some will be sold.  We can actually earn a significant amount on our garden produce. 

We live by a hiway and we just put a sign out front and the produce on the porch with a money bag (which we empty often).  Folks around here love fresh homegrown produce and we made over $800.00 the first year just by putting porduce on the porch. 

Next week our baby chicks will arrive and in a few months will be laying eggs to sell.  These are also a good way to make some extra money.
I make and sell home made lye soap using recycled oil and that sells well too.

There are many ways to earn some extra income and to keep busy. 
My 15 year old does childcare in our home for one lady.  She is able to get her homeschool done as well. 


    This is a great idea. It needs to be in the suggestions for wives working from home too. We have done some of these same things. They do work. I am trying to get more into the growing of plants (flowers and landscaping plants). Less work than a produce patch. And as my daughters will both be getting married in the next year or so I want to continue on without their help. We only have 2.5 acres and that is plenty of room for a small nursery.
     Here is a good website for a free book on how to do this. www.greenhousenursery.org . It is an online book. But this is definately something our daughters could do for very little expense. Seedlings can be started inside in egg cartons. You can often find greenhouse containers for free by advertising in the local paper. Landscapers have an excess amount of these that they are often glad to get rid of. You can ask at commercial greenhouses too.
      Google greenhouse plans. There are some pretty simple plans out there that are easy to put up for very cheap. My husband (a fantastic handyman!) built me a small starter greenhouse with old trampoline parts. He used stuff we had (he's a bit of a collector) and asked at a local nursery if they had any used greenhouse plastic. They did and were glad to give it to us. It's a really cool greenhouse, I love it! He built it for nothing. So if you have a handy husband your expense is even less.
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~Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.~
                                            1 Corinthians 13
Beth
Master

Posts: 941


~Charity never fails~
« Reply #5 on: February 26, 2010, 06:44:53 AM »
   here is a link to a lot of greenhouse plans. #
www.bluegrassgardens.com/how_to_build_a_greenhouse_article001.html - Cached - Similar
#
   some look very inexpensive to build. Thought it might help. I guess this fits in with Proverbs 31:16 "She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her she planteth a vineyard."
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~Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.~
                                            1 Corinthians 13
Homeschool_Newbie
Master

Posts: 867


The best of summer...
« Reply #6 on: February 26, 2010, 02:41:22 PM »
Quote
We talk to her about her experience there.  How do the people talk?  What do they talk about?  What is she learning?  Who does she spend the most time with when she is there?   

Fourth, we talk about how working there affects the women who are employed there.  How many are divorced?  How many have kids and who is raising their kids while they work?  How do they 'keep' their homes being away from home all day?  What kind of meals do they eat, healthy whole foods or fast food or pre-packaged microwave meals?  How will this affect their health?  Who does she think the women's husbands spend time with while the women are working?  What does she think about that?       


This is great, D and L Smiley

I'm glad you all are discussing this.... great topic. Smiley

One question: How do you know that all girls are going to get married?  What if they are single for a long time, or for life?
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sweetestday
Adept

Posts: 468
« Reply #7 on: March 01, 2010, 01:13:08 PM »
I am encouraged with how my parents directed me in my teens and twenties. I did do some work away from home, but it was only to babysit or clean house for older widow ladies. I had some house and pet sitting jobs as well, and did tons of volunteer work at the local nature center and nursing home. I feel these activities really prepared me for my life now as a homemaker, farm wife, and possibly caretaker for elderly parents in the future. I was very blessed, too, to have had all three of my surviving grandparents live with my parents for part of their last days here on earth. My grandpa, who lived the longest, stayed with my parents until he died last year. It's the only time the boys and I "worked" away from home... we'd go to my parents' house several times a week to stay with Grandpa while Dad and Mom were both gone. It was a very special time for the boys and me... and Grandpa, too.
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